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AIBU?

to not want to add friends to my FB account

15 replies

jugofwildflowers · 28/08/2011 22:16

My dd set up my FB account so as I could keep an eye on her activities. That's the purpose of it for me. She has hundreds of friends and I only have close family and a sprinkling of friends on it, so just over 20.

But I now feel strangely lacking by the paucity of 'friends' but I'm absolutely loathe to ask anyone to be my 'friend' as it seems to me to be so needy and pathetic!

I do not want to tell anyone about what I'm getting up to so I don't have a photo or any info apart from the friends listings.

So now I'm embarrassed because I can't bring myself to add my rl friends and no one ever asks me anyway although I notice my rl life friends have added each other. So not only am I embarrassed but now I feel as if no one actually likes me!

OP posts:
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YouDoTheMath · 28/08/2011 22:28

If you've only just joined, and that sounds to be the case, your friends will probably be unaware you're there.

Most people who are on FB have been on there for ages (years) and will probably have looked for you before, only to find you weren't on it. They're not going to keep looking!

Don't be too proud to add your real friends - it works both ways, and they'll probably be plead to receive your request.

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BeerTricksPotter · 28/08/2011 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic · 28/08/2011 22:32

Ive 14 friends, I've not signed in for two days. I really can't be arsed. I deleted all my school friends and friends from when I lived in Essex, really can't see the point of having them if you are never in contact.

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Spero · 28/08/2011 22:33

I think Facebook is only a problem if you over think it. If you have real life friends you know are on there, why not add them? FB has definitely added a really positive extra dimension to my friendships, I have moved about 100 miles away from most of them andit is actually lovely to see their photos and make comments etc.

It's utter rubbish to say you will be inundated with mundanities. You can always edit your account settings so certain people don't appear in your news feed. It is like anything in life, what you make it.

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exoticfruits · 28/08/2011 22:33

I wouldn't bother-I never ask people so have very few. You can hide the number of friends you have so that no one sees, if it bothers you.
My friends are never on much anyway. I am only on there for my DS to share his photos. My other DSs won't let me be a friend!
I don't think that FB friends mean a thing. Some people have a ridiculous number-I expect they have forgotten who many of them are! It is quite possible to have 300+ friends and no one to spend Bank Holiday Monday with-such is FB.

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AgentZigzag · 28/08/2011 22:46

I've never added a status, only have 30 odd 'friends' on it, and don't like asking people either Grin

I just use it purely to point and stare at the people I know on it Smile

Friend collecting is for teenagers.

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bigbadtiger · 28/08/2011 22:51

If you dont have a profile pic then people might assume that you dint really use facebook and so not add you.

There is nothing needy or pathetic about addig your friends. If you are going to be friends on fb someone has to add the other, it wont just happen by magic.

I think 'friend' has a different meaning on facebook. I accept requests from people that I would think of as being aquaintances, not just friends.

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cardibach · 28/08/2011 22:51

Fabby my friends who live in different parts of the country are on there so I do keep in contact. That's the main point of fb for me - I don't really need local friends to be on there as I know what they are up to anyway (I do have them, but it's the distant ones I really like it for).

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worraliberty · 28/08/2011 22:55

You don't need a photo of you...many people use an Avatar they particularly like.

And you don't need to feel embarrassed about a lack of friends, because you can click the option in your settings so that only you can see your friends list.

To anyone else, it's invisible.

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Sarsaparilllla · 28/08/2011 22:55

That's what I was thinking bigbadtiger, without a profile pic they might not even think it's you, but just a person with the same name

If you want to add people, just add them it's no big deal, don't overthink it

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BeerTricksPotter · 28/08/2011 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 28/08/2011 23:02

I love FB. Mind you I live abroad and find it much the simplest way of keeping in touch with everyone. I have the odd MNetter that I chat to, but I know everyone else well in RL. I dont see having FB friends as desperate and needy. A lot of people just make comments about their day to day life, or comment on the TV, or share a joke or funny video. There is nothing sinister about it. My friend just had a baby. It was wonderful to see pics etc.

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Portofino · 28/08/2011 23:04

obviously some are arses and post shite - so you block them. I have had to do this to family members and old friends. There truly is no accounting for folk.

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Portofino · 28/08/2011 23:18

I love FB. Mind you I live abroad and find it much the simplest way of keeping in touch with everyone. I have the odd MNetter that I chat to, but I know everyone else well in RL. I dont see having FB friends as desperate and needy. A lot of people just make comments about their day to day life, or comment on the TV, or share a joke or funny video. There is nothing sinister about it. My friend just had a baby. It was wonderful to see pics etc.

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HeyYouJimmy · 28/08/2011 23:22

I only have family and friends on FB that I actually keep in contact with. That'll be about 35-40 people all told.

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