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to think that parenting isn't a competition.

(27 Posts)
robotlollypopman Fri 19-Aug-11 20:18:07

To me, the biggest problem with MN is that too many members look down on others and boast about how good they are at raising children correctly. The breast feeders look down on the formula feeders, the parents who take their children to museums look down on those who choose video games. Too many parents on here make decisions about raising children based on how they appear to others and less about the child's best interests.

SheCutOffTheirTails Fri 19-Aug-11 20:20:49

I don't recognise Mumsnet from that description.

I would say it was full of rude, sweary, intelligent women arguing, theorising, joking and occasionally talking about their children.

robotlollypopman Fri 19-Aug-11 20:21:49

It often takes an outsider to see it.

FlamingoBingo Fri 19-Aug-11 20:22:45

YANBU with your title, but YABU to think that MN is just like that. How much time have you spent here to draw that conclusion?

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 19-Aug-11 20:23:12

You're trying hard tonight robot, I've just read your post about parentsnet.

robotlollypopman Fri 19-Aug-11 20:26:25

MN is VERY MUCH like that, on a regular basis. I'm not saying every poster on here is like that but there is a lot of it.

MadamDeathstare Fri 19-Aug-11 20:28:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saladsandwich Fri 19-Aug-11 20:28:57

i think some people are competitive regarding their parenting but they are probably just competitive in nature.

thats not a mumsnet thing, whats mumsnet done to you robot? you seem a tad pissed off with it?

Goldenbear Fri 19-Aug-11 20:37:24

YANBU, i have been here for yonks and i think it is a little like that. There is some good advice on here but there is often stealth boasting to a faceless audience!

VaginaPuddleduck Fri 19-Aug-11 20:40:28

It's a bit shit here, to be honest.

It used to be better, but every time I log on now it just seems to be crap. There used to be the odd thread that read for hundreds of posts - now there are about 5 or 6 in active convos at any one time of 100 people being outraged and some incredibly innoccuous thing.

I mean, pages and pages of people being outraged that an OP has the audacity to be outraged about something minor. Crapola.

The smuggery of which you speak - i think that's just parenting tbh.

Goldenbear Fri 19-Aug-11 20:40:59

However, i find in RL it is worse. Those who complain about competitive parenting are IME usually the most competitive!

robotlollypopman Fri 19-Aug-11 20:46:59

I'm willing to admit that perhaps I was a little heavy handed when I worded this thread. Maybe this was because I always have my hands full? :-) But for any new parent coming on here, (and I was one) any 'mistake' that you make or any choice that you make is often looked down upon here in a gloating manner. You may not even have started a thread or mentioned how you parent but if you see a thread titled 'AIBU to think that I am right to carry a child properly instead of by his ears' and you thought it was ok to carry your child by his ears, you feel like a shit parent. This website has the power to do good but so often it's stolen by those out to prove they're superior parents.

HandMini Fri 19-Aug-11 20:50:59

Robot, I really disagree. Frequently on this site, someone will ask a question or for other posters' opinions and the freeflow of information and help that I've seen is heartening. I think it's pretty rare that anyone is made to feel they've made a "mistake"...and if they have (objectively) most people have a pretty relaxed "oh well, not to worry" attitude. What examples have you seen?

LineRunner Fri 19-Aug-11 20:53:34

Some threads are certainly a triumph of style over substance.

Whatmeworry Fri 19-Aug-11 20:54:40

YABU - of course it is a competition, and there are Winners :-)

The onl;y prolem is that what wins has very little to do with the various religious rearing schisms on MN smile

SheCutOffTheirTails Fri 19-Aug-11 21:00:54

I am an outsider.

notlettingthefearshow Fri 19-Aug-11 21:01:16

Some threads do become quite judgmental, I find. but not all the time.

Indaba Fri 19-Aug-11 21:01:38

I have a theory about MN....and I say this guardedly because I do love it....but I think there are some people on here


1) aren't listened to in RL and thus come on here and really take very strong positions because its one of the only times they express themselves doggedly.

2) or its the fact that websites are faceless so some people think it allows themselves to be more forthright or rude and thus people let their barriers down.

I hope everything I say on here is as I'd say in RL....... ie with the usual caveats etc.

MixedClassBaby Fri 19-Aug-11 21:05:14

There's all sorts on here. That's what makes it so interesting. I don't know about you but I can be judgemental, tolerant, wanky, arsey, kind, funny, twatty, sharp and thick within the course of one day. It's people interacting with people, sometimes it shite and sometimes it's brilliant, you can't pigeon-hole it.

AfternoonDelight Fri 19-Aug-11 21:06:03

No, it's not a competition, so if a post comes across as being a "my child was potty trained and feeding himself while composing music at six months" I tend to ignore it,or just nod and smile.

HandMini Fri 19-Aug-11 21:30:15

Indaba talks sense.

HandMini Fri 19-Aug-11 21:31:12

I would say that the "my child was potty trained and feeding himself while composing music at six months" style threads tend to be taken down a peg or two / tittered at.

exoticfruits Fri 19-Aug-11 21:56:08

I agree Indaba-except that I wouldn't say it in RL-I am very diplomatic and kindly-I just nod and smile and say 'really' or 'how original' (if a name) or something very bland. It is quite nice to come on here and tell those who take themselves too seriously,or are very dogmatic, or are too possessive etc what I really think! I think that MN is very good at pointing out that parenting isn't a competition.

exoticfruits Fri 19-Aug-11 21:59:07

I don't think that it is too bad if people are genuinely asking for advice-they generally get it, and much of it is good. They tend to come to grief on AIBU because it is very rare that everyone agrees-you have to be tough to start one on there!

queenmaeve Fri 19-Aug-11 22:00:17

Everybody on this thread needs to be really careful they dont fall

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