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AIBU?

to feel partly responsible for grannys injury

7 replies

whatsmyshibboleth · 18/08/2011 21:27

Popped over to show my nan our 5wo DS for the first time today. She's 80 years old and struggling to walk with a cane, but as usual she insisted on waving goodbye at the front gate. I was about to get into the car and heard her yell out. She had slipped on a drain cover and was laying on the floor unable to get up. Called an ambulance and just found out she broke her collar bone and fractured her thigh bone. This may be the end to her living independantly :(
Although I technically did nothing wrong I'm still quite aware that this would not have occured if i hadn't been there. Hope she's ok, and I also have to admire how hardcore she handled the situation, wouldn't complain or accept any pain relief. They don't make them like that any more.

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purplepidjin · 18/08/2011 21:30

She would have been far more upset at not meeting her Great-Granddaughter!

And it's a bloody good job you were there, how long would she have been lying on the ground if you hadn't been able to call an ambulance? Chances are it would have happened anyway but because you were there you saved her life...

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DecapitatedLegoman · 18/08/2011 21:31

:( your poor nan.

Of course it wasn't your fault at all - she would have been delighted to meet your new arrival and wouldn't have wanted you to do anything differently. It's just one of those things.

I hope she makes a good recovery.

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whatsmyshibboleth · 18/08/2011 21:37

she met ggs, it was as we were leaving. luckily I was I had a fight with the car seat because I wouldn't have heard her otherwise. She's a cool gran, she was laying there recalling a motorbike accident she had about 50 years ago and laughing. Hope she pulls through OK

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purplepidjin · 18/08/2011 21:39

She sounds like mine who is 90yo, 2 mini strokes, still living in her own home with no carers! Some of them just bounce - especially those with a sense of humour Wink

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SecretNutellaFix · 18/08/2011 21:40

I understand completely that you feel a bit guilty, but you are not omniscient and cannot say for certain that she wouldn't have fallen somewhere today. What if she had decided to go outside the back of the house, where she may not have been found for some time? You were there when she needed you and you got her the help she needed.

She sounds similar in personality to my mother who we often refer to as believing herself invincible. That determination will help her on her low days whilst she is laid up. I hope that you are ok though? Must have been quite a shock, especially with such a new baby.

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Tuppence2 · 18/08/2011 21:43

hun, you cant blame yourself. Just visit her lots with your dd, and that's sure to raise her spirits and get her feeling better.
This happened with my gran when she was in sheltered acccommodation, as she saw my cousin, her 28 year old grandson out. She turned a corner, slipped and ended up breaking her hip. My cousin felt so guilty, he rarely visited her in hospital, and i think that hit her hard.
IT doesnt necessarily mean the end to independant living, but it may mean she needs some help with things... Who's to say that wasn't going to happen anyway? Sending her a huge get well though. x

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 18/08/2011 21:51

How awful for her, but it's the type of accident that could have happened to her any time/any day/any where and you should be relieved that you were there to help and comfort her when it occurred.

Please don't assume that this is the end of living independently for your dg; my aged aunt sustained compound fractures to both legs plus sundry other injuries when she had an unfortunate altercation with a car, but she continued to live alone in her own home for many years after she was discharged from hospital following a 3 month stay.

As you say, they don't make them like that any more but, on the other hand, it is amazing how resourceful we can be if we have a particular goal in mind and your dg may fight to the last to end her days in the privacy and comfort of her own home - that's what I intend to do should I be beset by injury/ill-health at any age unless I can check into a facility that's run along the lines of an AI hotel with a free bar from 10am-1am.

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