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to be this pissed off with my next-door neighbours?

(17 Posts)
BeStillMyBeatingFart Sun 14-Aug-11 17:27:34

Constant fighting, police outside, loads of cars blocking the street (including blocking our car into the driveway.

Two police cars outside now, yet loads of laughing and cackling which indicate cheerfulness. WTF?

Background: Couple split up but carried on living together. Think there was some domestic violence (not sure) police often called out who would then knock on my door asking for statements.

HUGE row a while ago where they argued the blok picked up their baby and ran off with him. Police spent all night trying to find him.

The bloke's now moved out, has their daughter weekends and I assume other times but his favorite game appears to be (from what I can hear from my window) coming back when he's due to drop him off, telling his ex that she can't have him and then driving off again. She then calls the police. This appears to be what is happening today.

This happens A LOT!

While I was on holiday the bloke tried to mash his way in to her house resulting in police, riot vans, etc.

Besides this there's fights in the street (both verbal and physical), the bloke getting soooo fustrated that he smashes up local cars and a general feeling of 'oh, god, what next?'

The police will knock on my door in the morning for a witness statement, as they have the other 400 (slight exageration) times.

Can I put in some kind of complaint about the noise and aggro? Is there a way of just getting them to pack it in and grow up? I do get messages from my neighbour apologising about what's been going on but it's hard to live next door to this! I've just had to bring my son in from the garden because I don't want him to hear the shouting and bawling hich really isn't fair on him.

fedupofnamechanging Sun 14-Aug-11 17:30:43

Is the house council or do they own it. If it's council or housing association you could make a formal complaint.

I'd be inclined to tell the police to either nick him or fuck off and stop asking me for statements every 5 minutes, but appreciate this might not be the best advice.

You could call SS about the child. This is a terrible environment to live in.

GypsyMoth Sun 14-Aug-11 17:30:47

Shouting and bawling? At the beginning of op you said laughter?

fedupofnamechanging Sun 14-Aug-11 17:33:12

Actually it might be worth contacting the police complaints dept, because they know there is a problem here and are not dealing with it. there was that case a while back where a woman committed suicide with her disabled daughter because they'd been ruthlessly bullied and despite repeatedly reporting to the police, nothing was done.

Your neighbours are making a laughing stock of the police here and perhaps someone higher up needs to be informed.

cjbartlett Sun 14-Aug-11 17:33:41

It's hard for you???
What about her and the poor baby?!

worraliberty Sun 14-Aug-11 17:35:09

You don't have to keep making statements if you don't want to you know.

fedupofnamechanging Sun 14-Aug-11 17:36:11

well if my ex was smashing up cars in the street and refusing to hand the child back after access visits, he wouldn't be getting any more access visits. This is her fault too because she's allowing it or at the very least not taking it seriously and allowing her child to live like this.

purplepidjin Sun 14-Aug-11 17:38:07

The police are probably using humour to keep the situation calm - there are very few people who will smack you one when you've told them a joke...

If they're renting, have a word with the landlord/housing association etc. My neighbours cause a lot of rubbish (among other things) and are regularly visited by the council (HA rental) who are trying to work with them to sort out the issues but have quietly told us that they will be moved on shortly... I tell you this to let you know that it does work, and the more you tell them, the more evidence they will have that something needs to be done!

BeStillMyBeatingFart Sun 14-Aug-11 17:40:24

I'm also baffled as to why she keeps letting him have the child. It almost seems like a game to them.

Yes, shouting and bawling, but laughing when the police come.

She likes to go out a lot and maybe he's her only childcare, I'm not sure.

I assumed that the police would alert the SS themselves.

And yes, hard for me. I have to live next door to it!! Am aware it's hard for them too but after all that's gone on I don't understand why the bloke isn't being told t stay away!!

MadamDeathstare Sun 14-Aug-11 17:40:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth Sun 14-Aug-11 17:41:04

God, I was once that neighbour! An angry ex making trouble.

Maybe speak with her, she is human still!! See if she is getting an injunction?

GypsyMoth Sun 14-Aug-11 17:41:51

Why is she letting him have the child? Court order maybe?

TheMonster Sun 14-Aug-11 17:46:57

Are they renting or with a housing association? If so, you can complain to the HA or landlord.

cheesespread Sun 14-Aug-11 17:47:20

christ and im gettin slated for playin loud music once in 16 months !

LuceyLasstic Sun 14-Aug-11 17:50:26

maybe its her at fault, you are all jumping on him but maybe he takes the kid away for its own safety

BeStillMyBeatingFart Sun 14-Aug-11 17:52:08

She's with a private landlord (I think).

Don't get me wrong, I do feel sorry for her. But also feel sorry for my own family and other neighbours - it's not fair on us either.

Most of us have had to deal with a resentful and angry ex. She's rarely alone, some friends/family members seem to have moved in with her (which I guess is sensible) and most of the time she's chirpy and chatty.

There's been 'talk' of the bloke going to prison because he's done such weird stuff and he's not unknown to the police. sad

Hatesponge Sun 14-Aug-11 17:52:48

My sympathy is with the neighbour tbh. She will be going though hard times. You just have to live next door to it, she is living through it.

I've experienced something not too dissimilar both when I was with my Ex and since we've split. The police were spectacularly unhelpful on occasions when my Ex failed to return our DC as agreed as we had no formal contact order in place- the fact they are coming out to your neighbour suggests there is some sort of order in place which the Ex is failing to adhere to (and perhaps explains why she is letting the Ex have contact - because the court order permits it).

It's a difficult position to be in. In my case, my DC want to see their father. I think he's a waster but they don't. The price I pay is that he brings them back when he feels like it, and changes arrangements with no notice. He doesn't cause a disturbance any more, simply because I don't challenge him when he plays up and keep well out of his way.

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