My friend is with an idiot of a partner - since they got together I've thought he was an idiot, and when she said is this normal behaviour I would say no it's because he's an idiot.
Anyway 5 years on she's now saying that he is an idiot and doesn't want to be with him. But she can't leave him as she doesn't want to hurt him.
She has now met a new man, and is going to commence an affair with him this week. I said to her that it was way out of order, and yes her partner is an idiot and nothing has changed on that fact, but he's still a human being, so she needs to leave him this weekend, and move on to new man, or shock horror be on her own.
The reason she doesn't want to leave now is in case it doesn't work out with new man, that to me is not a fair or right reason to not end first relationship.
Both men have young children, who both see her as in their father's lives (even the one who the affair (physical to commence this week, emotional been going on for months) is with).
Anyway she is now not speaking to me, as she wanted my backing to start the physical and I said no way, and no way was I helping to cover or anything.
AIBU to not be a friend in this instance as that is what she is accusing me of?
You could just say cooly (as you have) that you don't really agree with it and you don't want to be involved in it and leave it at that.
whether your friendship survives after that is something you don't have to think about now, just wait and see how things go. its not worth getting involved in her choice of partner. once you have said your piece once its best to forget about it and leave her to do what she wants.
she is busy with her lovers anyway and won't have much time to consider you ...