Am I BU to not have said anything ( or very little) about it to her yet? It's such an awkward situation but her attitude to safety of her children and other passangers is shocking.
We've been close friends for nearly a year now, since our children started reception together. On the whole, she is a good mum to her 6, 5 and 1 year olds but over the last few months I found she just doesn't get it , seems oblivious that her habits as a driver are shocking and illegal.
She does use a baby seat for her one year old but completely disregards the need of her older children to have booster seats. She owns a couple, as I asked for them when giving her children a lift, and she handed them over but I could tell she thought I was a pain for asking ! I since refused to ever have her daughter in my car , as she kept undoing her seatbelt when we were on a busy 50 m/h road with nowhere easy to pull over.
I would like to elaborate on all the details, circumstances but have not got much time but really want to post this thread at last, have been musing about it for ages.
All I would say is that I was with her in the car , on a motorway, when her children, without booster seats to start with, undid their seatbelts and jumped about at the back. She was mildly annoyed but did nothing about it untill we arrived at the destination 15 min later. I was shocked speechless and worried that my five year old, strapped on his booster, who would never dream about undoing his seatbelt, would get an idea, copy them.
Another day, our kids at school, she invited me to join her, her mum and the baby on a shopping trip to a wholesale place. Two hour round trip on a motorway. On the way back, her mobile rings and she answers it without a second thought, like it's a most normal thing to do. A trivial phone call lasting about five minutes. Here we are, her baby , her mum, myself, car very overloaded with heavy shopping, traffic very busy but not stationary, cars zooming past on both sides, 70 m/h. I was deeply shocked and just praying.
I don't want to get into her car ever again, I want to tell her how irresponsible, downright stupid she is,even criminal.
But I cannot really imagine saying that, even in a kindest way and her not get very offended and starting to hate me ( she has quite a collection of people she hates, other mums, teachers, because they said something that upset her in the past, she doesn't let go ).
I wouldn't care , I 'm not so keen to be her friend any more after the above, but...... this is a person I would meet ever day on the school run, for years, so awkward to be faced every day with someone you were very close with and fell out. Other mums would quickly notice that, as we are known for being friends, long chats etc.
Arghhhh, so awkward, help.
BTW,I think she will always get away with her children not be properly restrained as her car ( people's carrier) has back windows tinted .
Sometimes I have thoughts of maybe letting police know, have a chat with her, for her children's sake, or is it an overreaction ? Gosh, she would kill me if I did that, I think she would guess it was me.
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AIBU?
Friend breaking driving laws
16 replies
quietnight · 27/07/2011 15:54
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