This is my first AIBU so for some reason I must be relishing the idea of getting a complete kicking this early on a Sat morning!
I live with DP, DS (8) and DD (8 months). DS is not DP's. DS's Dad is an OK Dad. He see's him most weeks and they get on well and love each other. I say OK as he rarely pays maintenance (owes me £670 at present and doesn't even pretend to give a fuck about it, takes his new family off for trips away for a few days and tells DS all about it, is completely non apologetic about the £). DS doesn't get included in their holidays abroad etc...
He is a chef so works long and unsociable hours so the best day for him to see DS is Sundays, however he doesn't show up until at least mid day. I am happy for DS to see his father when ever his Dad can. But Ex's GF (they have 2 young children) says she cannot have DS on her own it is too much for her, so we fit around when Ex can have DS. Incidentally I really like EX's GF so no probs there just explaining the situation as best I can . DS is a easy boy to look after however I understand he may play up for her I have no idea as I am not there to see it. DS his SM have had problems in the past but as far as I am aware they get on fine now.
Ex and his family moved about an hour away from where we live 18 months ago for EX to be near his job as GF couldn't (totally understandably) cope with him only being home at night time). I completely understand her as DP works in all over the place but mainly 2 hours away doing long and unpredictable hours and is often away 6 nights at a time. IT is very6 hard on us but he loves his job ad is trying to build a good career.
We decided to look into moving to where DP works which is 2 hours away from where we currently live but only an hour (ish TBH) from where Ex moved. A lot of my friends have also gravitated towards this city over the last few years and it will hopefully improve my career progression too(imporatant as it looks like maintenance from Ex is a thing of the past). It has got to the point where DP cannot progress in his career without us moving and staying sofas, driving through the night and living on Take-aways is takings its toll on him.
We decided it was only fair to muddle through until DS finished the current school year as it was his last at his current one anyway and his peer group all go off to different schools (DS only got into a shit one )
Ex knew all this and has been unhappy to say the least but accepted the situation. However a few weeks ago he decided to move back to the town we are all from; meaning DS will be 2 hours away from him when we move. He will be living a in a cramped 2 bed flat and when visiting DS will be put to bed in Exs bed then woken and moved to sofa when Ex goes to bed (not ideal in my mind on a school night or too regularly at 8 or 9 years old).
So.... deep breath.... AIBU moving DS away from his DAD?
Sorry if this is not written very well I am fairly illiterate at the best of times and I have a baby trying to roll off the bed I may have totally outed myself with this and am a complete wimp so will prob name change if I am badly flamed.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Another AIBU about moving a couple of hours from childs father.... V.Long
16 replies
DialsMavis · 16/07/2011 09:51
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.