to regret the day we became neighbours

[cantstandthenoise]

Hi, I am next door neighbours to a couple who are expecting their 5th child.

My problem is that they all scream and shout. The parents are shouting at the kids and I can hear everything either through the walls or in the garden. I've heard them say to their oldest (who is 7) that he is a little shit and that they would call the police on him or have him adopted. They shout and swear at each other all the time 'you f*king bich' , 'why don't you f**king move out' etc.

This shouting keeps my daughter up (we live on our own)and last week their babies were screaming for about an hour and a half.

I hate it, I can't go in the garden for any peace, it's awful

[cantstandthenoise]

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[iwanttoseethezoo]

no, YANBU. Sounds like it would be difficult to raise this issue with them, too... Earplugs?

[iwanttoseethezoo]

no, YANBU. Sounds like it would be difficult to raise this issue with them, too... Earplugs?

[cantstandthenoise]

there's no way I want them to turn against me, I wouldn't dare raise it with them!

[AgentZigzag]

We're pretty noisy at time and there are only four of us, but this sounds a bit more than just general neighbours 'living' noise.

Babies do cry for ages but that doesn't mean they weren't attending to them, DD2 was crying for 2.5 hours lateish at night at the weekend, but it wasn't because we'd abandoned her she just had stomach ache/tired.

If you don't want to go round in case it sets them against you, does that go for any authority route too?

Not that I'm sure who you'd go to, if you suspected there was any abuse going on towards the children you could try ringing the NSPCC to get advice on getting it in perspective on an 'abuse scale' (ie whether they think abuse might be taking place).

Do you think any kind of abuse is taking place? Or is it just the alarming noise that's bothering you?

[pingu2209]

My ds1 has sn and part of the symptoms is extreme tantrums. It bothers my neighbour because she always makes comments about it. However, sometimes extremely noisey children are not just misbehaving. Are you sure you have all the facts?

Swearing at your children isn't nice, but with 5 children there must be a lot of pressure and none of us are perfect, maybe she just snaps?

[AgentZigzag]

It can be difficult listening to other peoples children cry and not be able to do anything about it though pingu, even when you know the reason.

Not from a selfish POV of getting annoyed at the noise, but just because children crying is a distressing noise, it's designed to be, it immediately does something to you so you act.

So to listen to it when you're at home trying to switch off must be quite stressful.

I'm not saying that to make you feel crap or underestimate how distressing it must be for you to hear your DC crying, I was just thinking of why the woman might feel she has to say something to you.

[cantstandthenoise]

no I don't think it's abuse although I really don't like the way they talk to their eldest. I just find it stressful when I've been at work all day and want to unwind in the garden and theres shouting and screaming going on.

[Fernier]

Are you my neighbour op? I don't swear at my children but I do have four and am pregnant with dc5. They can be rowdy and last week the youngest did cry alot because she had a throat infection!.
Our neighbours are a woman living with a daughter .

From my point of view I try to keep the kids quiet for example at night if the baby wakes I take her downstairs rather than staying in the bedroom and we have moved the 2 year old bedroom to the other side of the house from the joining wall.also they go to bed at a reasonable time and we dont let them in the garden too early.

Our neighbours make us miserable too they bang on the Walls, the shouted too each other loudly when we dared to have a BBQ on the weekend ( our first in two years) and worse they took photos of our injured son whe he managed to get stuck in a swing.

I would appreciate them coming round to tell us their ideas to stop babies crying tbh.

[cantstandthenoise]

I doubt I'm your neighbour! there are other things but I am worried in case they read this.

[comedycentral]

They sound lovely. No idea what to suggest but YANBU!

[cantstandthenoise]

I also understand about the babies crying. My DD did the same when she was younger, it's their shouting and swearing at the kids and each other that bothers me. Last week they were also doing DIY until about 1am.

[Fernier]

Ok well it's def not me i dont do ANYTHING until 1am :).
I don't really know what to suggest, if you do talk to them or someone else about the noise I would concentrate on the adult shouting and DIY etc as child noise is less obviously something they control as easily.