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to want to drop my responsibility at work now back from mat leave?

(10 Posts)
Parsnippercy Mon 04-Jul-11 22:01:04

apparantly so, according to the head (I'm a secondary teacher) - the rules state I have to return to job I did before, and although they'll let me work p/t, I can't drop the head of faculty role. Head keeps assuring me that I "need" the mental stimulation and that my DS will grow up fine with a working mother. But what about me? I want to spend time with him and miss our days together as now just get the grumpy end of the day, followed by sitting down to start prep and marking at 8.30pm and at weekends can't get all work done in one go, so find myself getting frustrated when he won't nap as I can't get on with my work in the little pockets of time I get during the day (feels all wrong). Do I need to get a grip or does it sound as if I should give up work (my only alternative)? Might I regret it if I did? Feeling so confused.

oohjarWhatsit Mon 04-Jul-11 22:03:55

do what you feel is right

personally for me, I would hate to miss out on my baby's first years, they go so damn quickly

but you have to do what makes you and your child happiest

eurochick Mon 04-Jul-11 22:43:36

I grew up seeing my mother massively unfulfilled after giving up her job and then finding after a few years that she couldn't get back into the workforce. It made me decide that I would definitely be a working mother when the time came!

Only you know whether being a full time mummy would be enough for you.

EveryonesJealousOfGingers Mon 04-Jul-11 22:58:48

Could you advertise for someone to jobshare, and keep the HoF role yourself? I think they are meant to be reasonably accommodating if it doesn't disadvantage the school.

FabbyChic Mon 04-Jul-11 23:00:56

Unfortunately you do have to return to your previous role if there is no other opportunity for you, the alternative is a new job with less responsibility and hours to suit.

A1980 Mon 04-Jul-11 23:25:50

Try looking for a new part time job that would suit better?

I would be wary of dropping work completely. I'd keep at it for yourself so you have something to return to when your child(ren) are older. I say this as a child who was brought up by a mother who never went back to work after having children. I never ever saw my mother with a job. It would be weird for me to imagine her working. I don't think that's a good thing. It was ok when we were little but the older we got it was just annoying. A teenager doesn't need day to day care anymore, we got ourselves to school and then college on public transport alone, we were out of the house from 8am to after 4pm. When we got to 6th form college and only had to go when we had classesshe would hang around me, supervising me when I didn't need it. Badgering me to get out of bed at 7am when I didn't have a class until 12pm. Grrrrr! I wish she'd had a job.

Pendeen Tue 05-Jul-11 08:28:42

OP how far do you think the school should move to accommodate your wishes? What extra work and alterations to the school's staffing is reasonable to allow you to do what you would like?

I'm not a teacher so I don't know how easy or difficult it is for a school to do this, but I'm interested in what you feel is the correct balance between your aspirations and your employer's need to manage the school without unreasonable costs or disruption to the other staff?

HarrietJones Tue 05-Jul-11 09:23:49

If you dropped the HofF is there another member of staff to take it on?
Obviously you'd be dropping the TLR that went with it for someone else to take so financially it's no different to the school.

SarahBumBarer Tue 05-Jul-11 09:29:52

I totally relate to "getting the grumpy end of the day". I've almost given up any ideas of finishing work an hour early when I can as it is just an extra hour of grumpy time. Much better to just get DS home at supper time, feed him and bath him (both activities which he loves sufficiently to overcome the grumpiness) [bad mother emoticon]

I concentrate on enjoying the days we have together and making the most of being part time. I'm lucky in that instead of finishing early on the days I do work I can start later so we can enjoy a bit of the nice end of the day and have breakfast and a bit of a play together before I go to work but I suspect that is not an option for you.

How part time can you go?

Why is giving up work your only alternative - why is finding a less stressful job elsehwhere not another alternative?

emsies Tue 05-Jul-11 10:20:10

Depends how what your financial situation is and if you want to work at the moment too. I stopped teaching when I had my little one as we moved house for my husband's work at the same time. We've been unbelievably broke and sometimes I do wish I was out of the house a day a week but watching my daughter develop has been amazing. She's nearly 3 and I'm pregnant again so it looks like I will be out of the teaching world for a while. If you've been a head of faculty it looks like you have a good cv so could return later if you wanted to.

I had always planned to return pt after a year but circumstances changed that and to be honest I'm so glad it did! (Even with being broke, being at home is such a privilege!)

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