To disagree with this articale in the daily mail?(9 Posts)
A mother who regrets having children? Do any women feel like this? Is it because she had children young ? Im 25 and have young children I dont feel like I wasted my life .
When my youngest is in full time school I plan to do something and get a career its never too late .
I am sure that some women do, of course. Some people never feel that glow after children - just a sort of weary guilt. Unfortunately it may only surface when they have given birth. Also, I think that a lot of post natal depression goes undiagnosed - this may also be a factor with some women....
I think some women in all likelihood do feel that way. Problem is, without access to a special viewing gallery to an alternative universe where you made different choices, how can any of us know for sure that making different choices re having children or not would bring the results we assume they would ?
I think the only time I got my hackles up about a similar article was the one on babble.com where the mum intimated that she fantasized about her daughter dying, saying she could live with the loss of a child, as long as it wasn't her son. All being spilled out under a picture, captioned with the family's real names, of her holding the little girl whose loss was being fantasied about. Pity that child if she ever googles herself in the future.
I'm all for honesty when it comes to female reality, but trying to outdo each other in "mummy confessions" to get more blog traffic rubs me up the wrong way.
My stepmother feels way and is quite open about it. It makes perfect sense. She says she loves her 2 daughters and wouldnt take them back but given the choice again she would have chosen not to have children. She puts it in a way that isnt personal and they both feel fine with it. Neither have gone on to have their own children btw.
she contradicts herself hugely.
"Most perturbing of all, these narrow horizons were exactly what I had once wanted. The only future I ever envisaged for myself was as a wife and mother.
I wasnt especially good at anything at school, and I was never going to have a career nor did I have any ambitions to one"
"I would have loved to have gone to college at some stage in my life, to have continued my education, to have worked somewhere or done something that made a difference to peoples lives"
Sounds to me like she has some issues with self esteem and perhaps if she had done something different she would be writing an article about how she regrets not having children. Some people just aren't ever happy.
I think I could get to 50 and feel that way if the internet wasn't around. It has broadened my horizon so much that despite having my children at 21 and 25 I have been home with them until they went to school but also had my own 'adventures' too.
In my 12 years of parenting I have discovered surrogacy and had three surrogate children, I have worked as a reported and a moderator on a large website and best of all I have discovered the Open University. All I could imagine at school was becoming a wife and mother but over time I gained more confidence and realised I could have more too.
When my mum looks back on her bringing up of my brother and myself it didn't offer as many chances as I feel I have, while I don't think she would change things now I do think she would be able to relate to some of the feelings in the article.
Heehee, I have KittenBlock so if I try to follow a link to the Daily Mail I get a site with kittens & cups of tea instead.
I think that she sounds the sort of person that had she not had children, would probably be writing an article about how unfulfilled she is being childless.
Some people are not happy with their life regardless and this I think is the saddest part.
She got exactly what she wanted. By her own admission she was not going to have an amazing career and having children should not have hindered her if there were truly things she wanted to do. It sounds like an excuse as to why she has let life pass her by. Having children doesn't mean your life stops if you don't want it to (although I know it certainly feels like that sometimes). Yes it makes things more difficult and less spontaneous but life can and should still be enjoyed. No one forced her into her situation.
YANBU. Disagreeing with the Daily Mail is a social duty.
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