Here's the background: I've always taught my dd (6) to share and her best school friend has been over for several playdates where my dd has shared everything except on one occassion a new beloved toy which I then put away to avoid fights. Her friend was in angry tears for a long time afterwards. She also always asks to borrow toys and has a fit if my dd says no (although she always offers a replacement if the toy is too precious to lend). From what I've seen her mum never says "no" to her and even has to hide returned borrowed toys to me in case her daughter gets upset etc...soooo...we are in the playground this week and my daughter is holding her new cuddly toy which she had asked me to bring to pick up. They are all in the park and her friend asks to play with it, my dd lets her play for 5 mins and then takes it back - lots of tears. She comes running to her mum, sitting sobbing on her lap for 10 minutes saying "but sharing is IMPORTANT" etc and her mother says "yes, well it IS nice to share but...ahem" - you get the type of thing. I feel really frustrated hearing this, particulary as this isn't even a playdate and given her own record of sharing (not good). She was also still going on about the toy I'd put away at the playdate and her mum was just comforting her. I had to say something and reminded her about her finding sharing difficult herself. I decided to put the toy away again to avoid upset and then near home time, my dd asked for another play and said that the deal was that she could as long as she let her friend have a short play first. She agreed and ran off to her. She soon returned saying "she didn't accept the deal" and I told her that she could then go off with her toy - at which point the girl's mum muttered "that seems unlikely". When I asked her what she meant she said "I think it's unlikely she would have said no, if asked" - implying that my daughter had lied (not one of her faults). I waited for my daughter to return and asked her again if she'd offered her doll first to her friend and why her friend had said no and she told me that her friend thought it was unfair as she should have exactly the same time with the doll as her. I then told the mum that I wasn't surprised that my dd had been telling the truth, as I wanted to highlight the fact that this is what was being implied. Am I being unreasonable for thinking that I was bending over backwards to accommodate a spoilt child and a mother who thinks she should have whatever she wants....I've been fuming ever since so feedback would be appreciated and sorry for the novel!!
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AIBU?
to be fuming at my dd's friend's mum re: not sharing/wrongly insinuating my daughter lied
27 replies
nettlefairy · 24/06/2011 20:48
OP posts:
cat64 ·
24/06/2011 21:11
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cat64 ·
24/06/2011 21:21
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