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To refuse to give in to a 2yo?

(19 Posts)
CoffeeDodger Thu 23-Jun-11 18:55:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkthechaffinch Thu 23-Jun-11 18:59:30

You are doing the right thing 100%

if she is hungry a couple of hours later though, I may offer an alternative (healthy) snack

HettyAmaretti Thu 23-Jun-11 19:02:01

Yes, you're doing ABSOLUTELY the right thing. I have done the same many a time and neither DC has ever woken up hungry in the night.

PinkSchmoo Thu 23-Jun-11 19:15:54

Bout to adopt this too - slightly different situation, DD refuses to feed herself, but hoping this will be an effective solution!

Good luck.

CoffeeDodger Thu 23-Jun-11 19:16:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thegruffalosma Thu 23-Jun-11 19:20:21

I've never offered alternative teas. They always have a bowl of porridge for supper regardless though so wouldn't go to bed hungry and if they were hungry inbetween though they'd get a healthy snack (some chopped carrot or something). I wouldn't offer them anything right after though - except re-offering them their tea.

missorinoco Thu 23-Jun-11 19:21:05

I adopted the same strategy after having a picky first child, in part because I fed him yoghurt etc if he didn't eat his dinner.

I do what you do, if you usually like it, eat it. If it's new you have to try it. Try it and dislike it, you can have toast with butter. Don't try it, there's nothing else. If DC1 is having pudding and DC2 is being a monkey she gets to watch DC1 having pudding. Usually a great incentive to finish the food. Works a treat.

They don't wake up hungry in my house either, although breakfast is sometimes vast!

FreudianSlipper Thu 23-Jun-11 19:23:31

maybe she does not want a meal. i would make a sandwich or some her some picky bits i would not cook something else. sitting down eating a meal can be too time consuming for young children at times when there is so much else to do. i would not send her to bed hungry

WowOoo Thu 23-Jun-11 19:23:44

I have also been stressing about food with my dc's this week.
Ds2, 2 yr old basically has not had a full meal this week.
So stressful isn't it?

I am trying to be relaxed and not force things and stay calm. But then, an hour later he's demanding dinner or biscuits or random fruit like melon that I've run out of.
I'll stay firm if you can! We can scream together here. ARGGGGHHHHHHH.

bubblecoral Thu 23-Jun-11 19:24:40

Yes it's hard, but yes you are totally doing the right thing.

It's horrible knowing that your child is going to be hungry, and you could prevent it by giving in, but that imo is the biggest part about being a good, loving parent - doing something that makes you feel terrible, because you know in the long run it's what's best for your child.

Be strong, you CAN do this! grin

CoffeeDodger Thu 23-Jun-11 19:43:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

debka Thu 23-Jun-11 19:51:59

DD1 is 2 and for several months we've had the eat it or go hungry policy. She often eats very little of her dinner and only eats fruit between meals (and very little). She has never woken in the night and is happy healthy and growing. I think at 2 they need less food than we think. Definitely keep at it and don't let it bother you.

sophe29 Thu 23-Jun-11 20:13:35

Im sure most of you have heard of this study before, but apparently some clever bot scientists performed a study where kids were allowed to chose exactly what food and how much they could eat. Initally the kids did all go for the junk and sweets etc, but they discovered over the course of the study (several weeks I think) that all the kids DID eat a balanced diet over all.
Some ate constant amount every day, others picked constantly, some ate lots one day and nothing the next. However they all met their nutritional requirements eventually.

My point is, leave them to it. If they dont want it today, ignore any bad behaviour and take the plate away. Dont make an issue of not eating. They WILL eat eventually and hopefully it will be something nutritionally satisfying (and acceptable to both of you).

My DD(4) last week hardly ate anything. This week I cant keep the food coming fast enough. One day my spag bol is amazing, the next "yukky".

Giving in to her behaviour will teach her that a) she is in charge of you b)food is a weapon c)its very funny when steam comes out of mummy's ears!

You are doing the right thing not giving in.

cabbageandbeans Thu 23-Jun-11 20:17:35

Its an Ok approach but you need to be careful about allowing your emotional reaction shining through so that little ones can see. I think it totally cool that you held out for an hour and then gave her a yoghurt. But did you spend that hour saying "No, you not getting anything else...."? Remember to be consistent, I find that if I say nothing at all it can be better (then I don't have to eat my words when I give in!) try a bit of cursing them silently in your head and speaking very little out loud!

I suggest that if they don't eat the food you have prepared - try keeping the food and if they hungry later present them with the same thing! AND say very little - don't get stuck into ranting about how you've cooked this food and they won't eat it, blah blah! I can say this because I HAVE done ALL of these things! Try to remind yourself that this is DD and not DS - history is not about to repeat itself. All children do this at some point, just keep your reaction minimal. I also agree that appetites change and you kind of have to go with the flow. Like you say, you know what to do, just try not to let your emotions get in your way.

cabbageandbeans Thu 23-Jun-11 20:19:44

Totally with you sophe29. Don't allow panic to get the better of you (or your kids!)

gotolder Thu 23-Jun-11 20:25:03

You already know that this a "pushing the boundaries" issue: the LOs don't do it with forethought but they are canny enough to pick up on it quite quickly.

I used to look after my GD at least once week whilst her mother (lone parent) had some time for herself. My DD always gave in to the "I don't like that" or would even ask GD what she wanted and then still have food rejected: it drove her to distraction (and tears)sad.

When GD was with me I always gave her food I knew she would eat and would never offer a substitute or ask her for her preference: after a couple of times of trying the "I don't like it" and being told that there would be nothing different and sitting through the strop, she learned that
I would not be moved and she ate or went hungry. (I always gave her milk to drink before bed so that she wasn't entirely without sustenance.)

It took as little as that to have her change her ways and eat everything when I had her; unfortunately it took her mother years to do the same so poor (silly) DD had many many stressful mealtimes and I had none.

CoffeeDodger Thu 23-Jun-11 21:27:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

40winks Thu 23-Jun-11 22:41:35

right, well what we do if monkey eating starts to rear it's uggly head is:

Meals are what they are and mysteriously we've run out of yoghurt.

Do old favourites + miniscule amount of something new to try 'if they want to'. No issues made but make sure they see you enjoying it but don't talk about it. Offer the new thing every 2 days, always in miniscule amounts and with a quick comment similar to 'if you like it you can definitely have more but I love this, so don't want to risk it going to waste'.

Snacks are a minumum of 1.5 hours after meals and 1.5 hours before

Snacks consist of chopped up fresh vegetables ONLY (ie. constitute part of a healthy mea). No dried fruit, no biscuits, nothing substantial/ filling. They can just eat more veg....

40winks Thu 23-Jun-11 22:49:02

oh and then when it starts to even out again, 'mummy found these fantastic blueberries / gigantic rice cakes / funny seeds etc etc for pudding / snacks, does anyone fancy trying one.....?'

It really does work and I introduce new stuff almost daily (same food in diff forms or whatever) and I don't know for sure but I wonder if they are just used to seeing diff stuff so find it less scary. They are 4 and 2 and often comment that I've been doing funny stuff in the kitchen again grin

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