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To expect more from nursery with regard to potty training

(12 Posts)
BitzerMaloneNotSkinnyOrBoney Wed 22-Jun-11 17:59:45

Probably shouldn't post about two controversial topics on here as am feeling irrationally upset about the matter but would rather be shown up as being pfb here than make a fool of myself complaining unnecessarily!

I've been potty training DD (2.1) for just under a week. She picked it up very quickly and after the first day has only had a couple of accidents.
She will ask me to go for a wee and look a bit uncomfortable if she needs a poo so I pop her on and with encouragement she'll go. I've also been asking her to try at intervals throughout the day -sometimes successful, sometimes not.

She goes to nursery 2 days a week. They were the ones who suggested starting potty training and said they were happy to support it. I wrote them a

Yesterday (first day in pants at nursery) she had a couple of accidents which I thought was to be expected as it was a different, arguably more distracting environment.

Today she has only done 2 wees in the potty at nursery and has come home with 4 sets of wet / dirty clothes.

I am a bit miffed about this - I don't think they have been watching her closely enough for signs / asking her to try or giving her the opportunity to ask.

Her speech is very good and I thought she was comfortable with the staff to ask if she needed to go but it appears not sad Or is she just too busy playing (I hope this is the reason - I've always been very happy with the nursery so far - they have always seem very caring and attentive - they just don't seem to be giving this potty training business much care)

Am I just expecting too much or should I say something - and if so, what??!

BitzerMaloneNotSkinnyOrBoney Wed 22-Jun-11 18:00:59

Sorry - I meant to add that I'd written a note with the strategies we'd been using and how well she'd done at home (which probably marks me out as being pfb straight away but I thought it made sense to let them know so they could be consistent)

theidsalright Wed 22-Jun-11 18:04:39

yab a bit u but I do empathise a bit.
Go over to the potty training thread and you will see that nurseries get WAAAAY more unreasonable than this.

Nurseries as childcare professionals might have found your note about consistency a bit ummm, patronising?

BitzerMaloneNotSkinnyOrBoney Wed 22-Jun-11 18:09:38

Oh god - I hope not - I certainly didn't mean it to be! They know much more than me on the matter I'm sure! I didn't say anything about being consistent if that makes it any better - just wrote what we'd been doing in her diary so they knew how we'd got on so far - as in pants rather than pull ups etc.

notcitrus Wed 22-Jun-11 18:49:39

Have a chat with them - my ds's ability and inclination to use the potty varies hugely between home and nursery (ditto eating habits, sleeping, etc), so it could be they're doing the same as you with different results. Or not.

My nursery is ropey on paperwork and reading stuff, whereas if I talk to someone on drop-off, messages always get passed on.

Isitreally Wed 22-Jun-11 18:52:11

It's good that she's having success though at nursery even if not 100% The chances are she is too occupied to tell anyone quickly enough hence the accidents. Generally nurseries don't do the whole "sit on the potty just in case" routine that parents often do (for practical reasons I guess).
As long as you are happy that when she asks to go they take her quickly and that they praise her for succeeding, I think that is the sort of level you should be expecting.

Grabaspoon Wed 22-Jun-11 18:57:08

Please remember that although they will try to be 100% on top of potty training children that

1. there may be several children potty training.
2. there are lots more children - it's easy to potty train 1 child - but have you done it whilst also watching 19 other children!
3. DD may get immersed in the toys there and forget which can happen at home too.
4. the routine of the nursery can often mean that the staff can't be as hands on as you are when you're at home ie in a small lounge with a potty and a packet of smarties.

SoupDragon Wed 22-Jun-11 18:57:20

To be honest, I think you're expecting too much from her at nursery. It's only been 2 days there! It is far more distracting and, with the best will int he world, they aren't going to be as attentive as you can be at home in your DDs familiar environment.

All 3 of mine have been worse at nursery than they were at home. If you have no other concerns abut the nursery then I don't think you have anything to worry about on that score.

BitzerMaloneNotSkinnyOrBoney Wed 22-Jun-11 19:00:05

Yes, they seemed pleased with the success so suppose I should too really. They said they had been taking her & that's when she'd 'performed' so guess it's just working on her asking them.

I've calmed down now as she's just asked to use the potty and done a poo so the process hasn't been derailed!

Yet another aspect of parenting that challenges my perfectionist nature to the core!!

BitzerMaloneNotSkinnyOrBoney Wed 22-Jun-11 19:07:00

Grabaspoon- that makes absolute sense- thank you.
Happy to be told iabu- will let nursery get on with it and hope for the best grin

sallysquirrel Wed 22-Jun-11 19:08:41

I probably will not be popular for saying this so apologies in advance but I don't believe in potty training, both mine have done themselves having been shown what to do and encouraged when they have wanted to go. Both were just 3 and preschool and I did the same thing which was took them when they asked or when everyone was going such as after snack time. When they got it they just got it and it was stress free completely and coincidently night time dryness happened at the same time. I don't think that dryness due to sitting on the potty lots and lots is successful potty training and unless you have one to one care for your child at nursery then not really fair on the other children.
Could you just put pull ups on on nursery day, my dd still wears pull ups on long car journeys and when we are going to places where toilets are not immediately available, purely for my benefit to avoid wet clothes and piece of mind however she has not wet in one for weeks so it hasn't encouraged her to be lazy or sabotaged her progress. I also leave them on at night just incase but will probably stop that soon as I can't remember the last wet one.

reallytired Wed 22-Jun-11 19:19:50

DD is 26 months and has been potty training 6 days. She is having about a 50% sucess rate. We have been told by our nusery that dd is doing well.

I think you are being harsh on the nusery and your dd. Nursery is an exciting place and its understandable if children get a bit distracted.

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