DD being scratched at nursery, what to do??

[Flojo1979]

Hi, my dd has been attendin nursery for a while and I've always been happy with the care she has received. Recently she has come home with a scratch on her face, bleeding line across it etc. Nusery staff have told me she is not being targeted and have simply said there are a few 'scratchers' at the moment and they r trying to observe them and intervene before the event, I appreciate it must be difficult but she does 2 days per wk and has been badly scratched 4 times, once a wk for the past 4 weeks. The 4th being yesterday. I'm not sure whether i should be considering removing her from nursery, demanding the nursery do more, but what? or just accepting that thats the way it is and hopefully it'll stop soon.
Any advice much appreciated!
Posted in 'childcare' also.

[MrSpoc]

Scratches happen. Is she ok.

If she is being bitten then I would worry but a scratch is a scratch.

[Flojo1979]

Yeah shes generally ok. The bleeding has stopped and the welt isnt so bad now. I'm not sure how its any less than biting, as it bleeds and leaves a scab for days.

[rachdave]

hi there. i appreciate you must be concerned. After working in a day nursery until 2yrs ago the line they are taking sounds familiar. Unfortunately there are always scratchers and biters, and even more unfortunately they do tend to target the weaker or quieter pupils. Nurseries tend to have little options when dealing with these things. Firstly there are few punishments they can enforce on the under 4's. Secondly they wont want to upset the "scratchers" parents by taking too drastic an action. They are a business and so need to keep as many happy as poss to make money. I'm afraid it's usually the victim who comes off worse in my experience. (14ys in 3 different nurseries) Sorry, i hope they are more obliging.

[Belljar71]

A scratch is not just a scratch.For young skin it can bloody hurt.If the nursery have 'scratchers' then scratch mitts should be worn,maybe this baby approach may make them think twice about scratching.My daughter is two and she can understand consequences of her actions.

[Flojo1979]

My dd is 2.5, the others r between 2-3yrs. The staff seem to think its more than one child doing it, to more than one child so they r struggling to control it, the first time it happened i just shrugged it off as toddlers being toddlers, but now its happened four times, after the third time i went in and spoke to the staff so they know i'm not happy and they assured me they r trying to stop it, but then the next time she is in, I have yet another accident form to sign. And my dd cheek has a bloody red line across it.

[worraliberty]

It does happen I'm afraid.

I wonder if the Nursery could send a letter to parents requesting they keep their children's nails as short as possible?

[MrSpoc]

sounds worse than just a scratch. (still bleading, scabbing over etc).

What i meant by a scratch is just a scratch is my boys alswys get scratches from long nails, just general play and it does not bother them as its only a little, light scratch.

What you say sounds bad so if your not happy move your child to another playgroup, nursery or childminder.

[Flojo1979]

I dont just mean a red mark, I mean it breaks the skin the whole length along. The nursery staff said my dd didnt even cry when it happened last time. As tho to say she isnt that distressed, shes happy here, dont make a fuss etc. But my gut feeling was omg shes so used to the abuse that she doesnt react now.
I dont know, generally shes happy there, i have no issues with her not wanting to go etc so maybe i'm over reacting, but then again i think its their responsibility to keep her safe and they arent and i'm willingly dropping my dd off to a place where she might get physically attacked. what sort of mother would that make me?

[worraliberty]

I think you're over being a bit over dramatic now with words like 'abuse' and 'attacked'

It isn't nice...of course it's not but these are very small children and it must be very difficult for the staff to prevent unless every child had a 1 to 1 carer.

Your child could be scratching others too...but how would you expect the staff to reasonably pre empt it?

[MrSpoc]

Flo - if she didnt cry then i would take it as it did not bother her. Try not to over react by saying gut feeling was omg shes so used to the abuse that she doesnt react now

Also if she does not scream or makes a big fuss when being left or going to nursery then she probably does enjoy going.

Your last post makes you sound OTT.

[Flojo1979]

I cant move her, as she is very clingy and would be miserable for a long time, having said that, she will move up to next room in sept anyway and i'm dreading that. So if i did take her out it'd be til next yr but seems a lil drastic, tho like i've said the scratches r pretty drastic too.

[Dozer]

Write and complain using the complaints procedure. They may not do anything, but the complaint will be on the record.

I once collected my DD from nursery (she was 18 months) and she had five massive, bloody scratches across her face, another child had obviously scratched her with their whole hand. It hadn't even been noticed! They tried to fob me off with "she must've scratched herself on the climbing frame" and wrote this on the accident form - I wrote on it that she had been scratched by another child, but didn't follow up.

[MrSpoc]

Also are you a sunderland fan? im finding it hard today weeding out true posts from bad.

[Flojo1979]

Ok i'll try keep a lid on the OTT!!

[Flojo1979]

Sunderland? huh? lost me.

[MrSpoc]

Dont matter.

[Flojo1979]

Tell me, Tell me!!

[MrSpoc]

We've had an influx of sunderland fans setting up posts to get reactions. There has been a few today.

[HamburgerHelper]

It's no big deal really. DS went to a parent-run creche where we all had one shift per week - so I was around a lot of 2 and 3 year olds and there were always scratchers and biters among the younger children. They always got better as they got a little older and their language improved. We just tried to teach to express their frustrations with words (no! stop! Mad!)

My kid came home plenty of times with just the sort of scratch you described. I remember feeling bad for the parents of the scratchers - it's hard when your kid hurts someone else. But it all par for the course in my experience. Don't blame the nursery staff, it can happen quite suddenly and is impossible to completely prevent.

[porcamiseria]

ah flojo I feel for you here, and I must say its the first time I have heard of this, and its the natural LION MOTHER thing but for sure she is not being abused

I think that if she is happy there, and not over upset thats the most important thing

But I would be pissed off at what you describe too. and I think you need to keep a close eye on this. my main concern is they are not keeping a close enough eye on her and the other kids if this keeps happening

do you work, or are you at home? as there are other options possible

[schmee]

If another child has scratched your child then their parent/carer should be asked to fill in an incident form too I think from memory. Demand to know that this is happening. I think the letter about short nails is a good one.

[Flojo1979]

oh ok, I havent been on for a few days, I wasnt aware. No i'm genuine. I posted in AIBU so I'm glad u told me when IABU!!

[Dozer]

Have heard "she didn't even cry" line before. It means "we didn't even notice her crying" or, like you said, that she has learned not to cry.