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To refuse to lend my sister money for her holiday

(39 Posts)
LoveMyOscar Sun 19-Jun-11 09:40:25

My sister met a man in Turkey 2 years ago. She has been going over to see him since, and has been over 3 times in total. He proposed at the end of her first 2 week holiday, so they had known each other for less than 2 week when he proposed but she accepted (silly girl!). Back home we all told her what he probably is really after from her, a passport to this country and stupidly she sends him and his family £40 a week as they have little money. She is blind to the whole situation.

Anyway, she desperately wants to go over for his mother's 60th birthday in 2 weeks time and has been dropping hints that she hasn't been able to save any money to get there. Then, yesterday came what I was expecting. She asked me for the money. She says she is to the limit on her overdraft and credit card and wants me to use my overdraft or credit card to pay and when she returns home, she will pay me back within 4 months. I told her under no circumstances, except maybe for emergencies with my children would I go into debt and she blew off on one and now she won't speak to me, answer my texts, nothing. It's equally sad she's fallen out with me because my brother doesn't speak to me neither because I fell in love with a black man, and 'I should stick to my own kind'. That's another story though.

c0rn55ilk Sun 19-Jun-11 09:43:05

I wouldn't lend it either. Your brother sounds like a twunt.

LoveMyOscar Sun 19-Jun-11 09:47:17

Thanks cornsilk. I wouldn't be surprised if my brother was part of the NF or a friend of Nick Griffins. He's a twat of the highest order, excuse my launguage blush

AuntiePickleBottom Sun 19-Jun-11 09:47:38

i wouldn't of lent her the money either, and you brother biscuit

Seabright Sun 19-Jun-11 09:48:33

Agree with Cornsilk. You seems to be the only sibling with any sense & intelligence, leave them to their own devises

Groovee Sun 19-Jun-11 09:48:34

I wouldn't lend it either. Stick to your guns

MaxSchreck Sun 19-Jun-11 09:57:05

You can't choose your family, can you?

I would not lend her any money, no way.
I would not want to enable her madness and certainly wouldn't get into debt for it!

livinghell Sun 19-Jun-11 10:01:16

Siblings are there to drive us mad. I've just been posting on the madness of my own db.

Stick to your guns, she sounds like she has lost reason in this. Your brother is beyond description.


littlewheel Sun 19-Jun-11 10:10:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pedallleur Sun 19-Jun-11 10:12:54

Stick to your principles. You won't see the money and I suspect that your sister may be headed for a fall. She could always go and live in Turkey and see what family life (for a woman out there is really like!)

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 19-Jun-11 10:15:19

YANBU... And if your brother is xenophobic, he's not going to take too kindly to a Turkish BIL, is he? Keep your wallet closed and be there with the Kleenex when her holiday romance goes pear-shaped. She's being conned and maybe, if she's forced to stay home through lack of funds, she'll come to see that.

cookcleanerchaufferetc Sun 19-Jun-11 10:33:31

As cognate says, do not lend her the money. Why can't your sister see she is being used?

DontGoCurly Sun 19-Jun-11 10:48:29

Your sister is being stupid. Don't lend her the money.

Xales Sun 19-Jun-11 10:51:06

If she wanted to go that desperately she would have cut back and saved in other areas to be able to afford it.

You would be stupid to go into your overdraft or put debt on your credit card when if she is this much in debt there is probably no chance of getting it back.

Your brother is a racist twat.

Bloodymary Sun 19-Jun-11 11:04:08

I am another one for not lending her the money, why should your finances be pushed to the limit because of her spupidity?

I wonder how many other woman he has sending out £40 a week?

PS. Never let your sister go to Gambia!!

HerHissyness Sun 19-Jun-11 11:10:48

Your brother is being racist. Your sister is being a mug.

This is the oldest scam in the book.

HerHissyness Sun 19-Jun-11 11:12:14

He will fish for as many idiot women as possible, and then if he manages to keep one on the hook for long enough, they will get married and he gets a ticket to the UK and a new life.

I lived in Egypt, and it's rife there too, the tourist areas especially.

Even in Alex we came across women that had been duped and lied to.

c0rn55ilk Sun 19-Jun-11 11:32:40

It's all going to end in tears. You do well to stay out of it Lovemyoscar

mumeeee Sun 19-Jun-11 17:55:36

YANBA. We wouldn't even lend our DDs money for a holiday and they wouldn't even think of asking us.

expatinscotland Sun 19-Jun-11 17:59:56

Stick to your guns. She's totally unreasonable to ask this.

microserf Sun 19-Jun-11 18:27:38

YANBU. I won't lend money to family, it's a gift or nothing. I'd never go into the debt to do it.

proudfoot Sun 19-Jun-11 18:29:27

YANBU. She is very presumptuous to think she is entitled to a loan from you whenever she feels like it! It's totally up to you what you do with your money. I wouldn't lend it either.

ILoveYouToo Sun 19-Jun-11 18:50:44

YANBU at all!

ensure Sun 19-Jun-11 18:53:35

My colleague met an Egyptian waiter on holiday,13 years her junior. They learnt each other's languages from scratch I believe and got married within a year.

She now lives there very happily with him and their three beautiful children. He didn't want a passport, they just fell in love at first sight!

Still, although I might not be as cynical as everyone else in the thread, I don't think you should lend your sister money. I don't think my colleague's other half ever asked for any money either.

fatlazymummy Sun 19-Jun-11 19:40:06

I agree, don't lend her any money. If she is in debt then she should get that sorted before going on any holidays.
It does sound as if her fiance is a scammer but there is a chance that he is genuine. If that is the case and they are really in love then they will find a way to be together without help from anyone else.

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