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to wonder how many G&T kids are on the autistic spectrum?

(18 Posts)
ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 02:03:55

dont want to piss on anyones chips but when i read them i smile.

DS has aspergers among other things - but is a bit of a genius in his chosen specialist subject - he is totally self taught and is now working in his specialist field while studying for a degree. if i had has PFB syndrome i would have probably been posting on here - instead when he was 7 i had a dx by a leading specialist in the field. it felt fine and answered alot of questions!
but,
he was bullied right through school and found it hard to make friends
he is totally nocturnal, up half the night, sleeps most of the day.
completely disorganised
we bought him a calculator for his first birthday....he loved all things numbers.
he loved to find out how things worked, he asked endless endless questions that drove me (and checkout operators) mad (he once stood at Asda and asked what every single button on the till did...i couldnt move him until he knew after that we made up some rules for how many questions he was allowed to ask!)
he was rule oriented - he was the policeman of his class.
he wrote lists and lists of times tables (60 times table at age of 6 -all correct)
he had odd obsessions
he had/has a high IQ with some disparity on some scores...some subtests scored sky high - others low

when i read the G&T threads i smile inwardly

i think we should just love our kids no matter what. for us get a dx was right - it explained so much, for him aswell as us. but he is special. he is gifted. he is talented.He is successful. he is a first class pain in the arse now he is 19. but he is mine and i love him dearly.

MumblingRagDoll Fri 17-Jun-11 02:09:56

From my experience most of the parents on the G&T board are fully aware that the two often go together. I'm sure most people DO love their kids no matter what. But many also want to know how best to help them and so they search endlessly for answers.

I have a year DD who has various issues and talents....having had a 2nd DD without the issues it's only now I realise that MOST parents don't have to deal with incredibly sensitive DCs and that for them parenting is very different.

If you found it easy...well sorry but bully for you! Some people don't.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 02:14:53

far from easy actually. where did i say it was easy? he nearly died at 3 and was brain damaged, he needed intensive input from physio, OT, SALT, he was bullied throughout school, i had to fight and fight tooth and nail for every single concession we earnt for him, he was the first child in his school diagnosed, they had no idea how to deal with him.

so do fuck off.

MumblingRagDoll Fri 17-Jun-11 02:20:33

Your post however was not about him nearly dying...(which of course I am very sorry you and him had to go through)...your post was about smiling inwardly at parents who have "PFB"s who have issues...and who maybe can't get dx from a leading specialist.

There's no need to tell me to fuck off. You seem smug.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 02:22:18

i posted in special needs, it would never have occurred to me to go to gifted and talented, because i wanted him treated holistically rather than focus on "good" or "bad" behaviour and i found the SEN boards friendly and informative. i have never understood why some parents with children who are clearly on the spectrum choose to post on there rather than special needs - is it just snobbery? or something else?

MumblingRagDoll Fri 17-Jun-11 02:23:25

Maybe they post in both.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 02:23:41

yeah im really smug. thats me. smug as a smug thing in a smug rug.

ha fucking ha.

is that code for realist?

MumblingRagDoll Fri 17-Jun-11 02:27:39

You do seem smug. Smug about the fact that you never went to G&T. Why? What's wrong with it when your child is gifted? As I said...many people use both boards.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 02:38:26

well i must be smug then if you say so.
i wasnt on mumsnet when my son was as school. but im fairly sure i wouldnt have used the G&T boards. the threads i have read on there seem to be blinkered and quite smug about their gifted and talented offspring. some appear to be totally appalled if the mere mention of ASD is mentioned. of course not all will be on the spectrum but many threads i read on there have my autism detector bleeping. is ignorance bliss? is it easier to think you have a genius rather than a child with an autistic spectrum disorder i wonder? perhaps it is.

BitOfFun Fri 17-Jun-11 02:47:33

I think I know what you mean. I have a dd with autism, but she has severe learning disabilities, can't talk, uses nappies etc.

She is still bright as a button when it comes to finding ice cream though grin

In a way, I am sort of grateful that she is so far away from normally-functioning that she is unlikely to ever give a shit what people think of her. But in another way, I wish she was nearer to the rest of the world that she could wow them with some special intelligence or knowledge. She can't.

You just play the cards you're dealt. Bloody good luck to you both.

JoySzasz Fri 17-Jun-11 02:48:47

vicar what is he specializing in now ? smile - nosey ...

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 02:59:12

best don hard hat and wait for the onslaught from that board then eh....it wasnt actually my intention to hit raw nerves. i being genuine if clumsy.

i dont know why but i find it sort of distasteful, but i tend to call a spade a spade. or a child with ASD a child with ASD.
but if it makes people feel better then of course there is no harm in calling them a child who is G & T.
lots are, lots of ASD kids are G&T.
and not all who have genius iq's or talents are going to be autistic. but i just recognised quite a lot in some of those posts, and i wonder why people would prefer to say their children are gifted and talented than on the autistic spectrum, or worse, take the suggestion if offered by the school or whatever as a personal insult?
i want to fly the flag i suppose for people who do have that "label" and who are totally able.

thanks BOF....i hope people can see what i meant. clumsy i may be but smug im not.

his speciality? its computers, computer programming. he wrote programmes at age 9. he taught himself. he wrote one a few years ago that topped up his sim card on his pay as you go phone when it got to 50p or below.....i only found out when £300 went missing from my bank account! grin he had no real idea what he was doing, he was super pleased with himself!

he now works in programming and internet marketing while studying for a degree in computer sciences.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 03:00:57

just realised that does sound smug doesnt it? grin

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 03:02:58

....i would also like to say its been hard. school was just awful. erased from memory. he didnt even go back for his GCSE certificates or prom. he could not get out fast enough.

it does get so much better after they leave school.

madwomanintheattic Fri 17-Jun-11 03:03:40

blimey, vic, who rattled that cage?

there have been quite a few threads on more able kids with spectrum type issues - sometimes posters come to the conclusion themselves, sometimes they have to be led a bit. wink

personally i have three kids who are more able, and occasionally look in on the g&t threads as there are interesting links to websites they might enjoy etc. one of my more able kids has cerebral palsy (actually the one that's the most clever on paper) and another one has some un-dx issues which may or may not be spectrum related (continence/ sensory/ add/odd-ish). the other one is boringly nt, but on the regional programme for more able kids anyway. some of the more able kids aren't on the spectrum. wink

i do like the 'twice exceptional' stuff that comes out of the us though - although a couple of years ago they were running seminars and workshops for g&t/ as/asd parents at winchester through the yg&t chaps, so it has made some impact in the uk.

so, usually i post on sn, but sometimes i pop into g&t for a look. i'm not sure, however, that starting an aibu thread about kids you think have additional needs is wise in any case, tbh...

i'm not keen on the 'my child is badly behaved because he is bored' threads. or the ones that have unrealistic demands because their child is reasonably clever. but other than that, y'know, g&t seems like a fairly average board.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 03:24:47

yeah i accept that madwomanintheattic. i didnt read every thread, just a few stood out, that seemed to justify my op....but misjudged maybe, i forget what AIBU is like sometimes.

my intentions were to fly the flag for people who are "labelled" but who do perfectly fine, who dont need to be "labelled" something that people might find more acceptable
or something alone those lines....

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 17-Jun-11 03:31:41

off to bed now and wont be back for a while as working.(not running away!.... is there a cowards emoticon? think they should have an olive branch and a white feather emoticon!....grin)

anyway hope people can see what i meant.

madwomanintheattic Fri 17-Jun-11 03:40:30

grin
no drama... they're all in bed anyway...

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