AIBU to feel stupid & gullible(14 Posts)
this is long - sorry!
about a year ago i had to travel back to my home country and back to england on my own. Now, i never have any issues with travelling on my own but i hate planes. on the other hand i'm quite a sociable chatty person. Whilst i was in the airport, i started talking to this guy, around my age (22-23) and we got along surprisingly well, we had similar tastes in music, same sense of humour, and we found out we were travelling to the same location. we sat next to each other, chatted all the way and it really made my journey easier because i really hate planes. From the beginning when we started talking i told him about my dh, he told me about his gf, uni and all that. when we had to take different buses we were like "well it was nice meeting you, have a good journey etc. he said if i want to i can add him on skype, i said yeah why not. when i went home i told my dh about him and i added him on skype. when he didn't "accept" it i thought maybe he didn't want to talk to me and said it just to be polite or gave me the wrong name and I thought nothing else of it
fast forward a year later, i get a facebook request from the same guy, we start talking and he says he realised when he went home that there was 1 wrong character in his username but as he only knew my name had no way to rectify it. i said ok no problems, laughed about it, then he asks me how im doing etc, i ask how he's doing, how's uni, how's ur gf, he gets a bit funny and then he decides to confess that he doesn't have a gf, didn't have a gf at that time and lied to me about it. i was a bit.. okay? why did you do that? and then the biggest shock he said he really really liked me, "in that way" and when i started talking about my dh he made up a "gf" so it wouldn't be awkward, then he proceeded to point out all the little bits i was apparently oblivious to that happened during the journey that "proved" his point (i.e. calmed me down when i thought we were gonna die because of turbulence - i really hate planes!) . and "did i not notice the way he looked at me"I felt really really stupid and gullible! the thought just never crossed my mind, i spent some time after that conversation thinking if i've done anything to lead him on or anything - i'm very average looking, overweight and just nothing special in general so i really don't know why this happened.
AIBU to feel this way? okay i feel a wee bit flattered but most of my feelings are along the line of "how could i have been so stupid - how could i have not noticed it?!"
forget him and move on,life is too flipping short.
TBH I think I'd put down the laptop and back away slowly...
this happened about 1h ago so it's not exactly like i've been wondering about it for days, it was just.. odd!
You didn't notice it because you were otherwise distracted by your fear/nervousness of flying. You were grateful for his friendliness. His explanations seem reasonable enough, but YAB a little U for analysing it so much. Move on I think.
i wouldnt worry, why would you notice unless you where looking for it.
sounds like you feel a little guilty about it, I dont think you should. I wouldnt have much else to do with him though tbh if he feels like this and expresses it knowing you have a dh, sounds like he may be looking for more from you, dangerous ground.
i asked him why he felt the need to tell me this and he said he knows we'll never meet again and nothing will ever happen he saw no harm in it..
i have ignored him ever since.. i just feel stupid cause i didn't see it at the time if you see what i mean
then he is very A very silly and immature man, dont feel stupid you have done nothing stupid, continue to ignore ignore ignore and tell your dh if he hassles you, that way you have done nothing stupid sand dh can can have a word with him and nip it in the bud.
As Loonytoonie said, maybe you didn't notice because of your nervousness. Or possibly - there might have been nothing to notice?
I don't believe the 'one character' claim about Skype. I think it's just as likely that he did receive it, but regretted it in that Oh-you-must-come-visit-us-at-home-it's-been-so-lovely-meeting-you-on-holiday sort of way. Once you're back on home turf, you think 'why did I do that?'. One year on, he's tripped across it and is at a loose end so thinks 'what the hell'. And the story he spun you is just that - a story, for his own amusement, to draw you in. He was charming on the plane, but is essentially a little shallow?
Totally agree with the others - ignore all messages from him, don't know much about facebook, but can't you just block him ? tell dh about it too - for the record your not at all stupid/gullible you took him at face value he's just not worth worrying about.
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