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Aibu to haul DP out of bed? Maybe a tiny bit...

(15 Posts)
RueLaChesty Mon 30-May-11 07:42:21

DP works 12 hour shifts and was workin from 2pm til 2am yesterday so got home at 2.45am. He is off today. This isn't his normal shift, he usually works 8am til 8pm but they asked him to change his shift and he agreed as i have, maybe, tonsillitis so he thought he could get up with the kids and let me sleep. And he said he wouldn't be in too late so could still get up with DDs this am.

Well yesterday morning i got to sleep in till 10am after being up with DD1 at 4am then being woke by both at 6.30am until he got ready to go downstairs.

So today kids woke at 6.45am and he turned to me and said would you mind getting up, i'm really tired as i got in so late. I know when he got in as he had forgotten keys so i had to get up and let him in. When i let him in he said he was just going to get a bite to eat so i just went to bed.

Anyway, so i got up, begrudgingly, and am sitting here like a zombie, and i've just went to put a film on for DDs that we have on V+ and noticed that he has watched doctor who and the champion league final, so i reckon at LEAST 90 mins of tv if he just skipped most of the game??

I'm not very happy! Should i haul him out of his bed???

I should point out too that i work and then in evenings i try to run a small handcrafted gifts business so its not as if i can just lay down once DCs go to bed!!

I suspect IABU, but just a tiny bit! He only swapped the bloody shift so he could give me a break! And when i did get up yesterday the DCs weren't even dressed and he'd made french toast and a huge mess that was still sitting there when he went to work!!

I'm ranting now!

beesimo Mon 30-May-11 07:49:18

Your Man works 12 hour shifts? Don't you think he is tired MOST of the time you should be glad you have a hard worker notgetting on at him about watching a bit of TV.

Your being a very unfair let him get his rest and grow up a bit.

Youcantaffordme Mon 30-May-11 07:53:52

Leave him alone. So what if he watched a bit of telly, most people need to wind down a bit between getting home from work and going to bed.

Icelollycraving Mon 30-May-11 07:54:41

Come on,he comes home & wants to wind down? If he came home at 6pm he wouldn't go straight to bed would he?
Take him a cup of tea!

AuntieMonica Mon 30-May-11 07:54:57

ooohhhh the little divil (as MIL would say)

it's tough on both of you when 1 works late into the night, i do understand.

DH didn't get to bed til 3am last night/this morning and i know he watched TV before he turned in.
He has to do this to 'unwind'. He's a musician and after all the noise and 'buzz' of people he can't simply switch off immediately.

If your DH was out all evening, perhaps he (incorrectly) assumed after your lie-in yesterday you might be feeling better today?

i think you are being a little bit U, but not surprisingly if you're tired and unwell.

Take him a cuppa at 8, and tell him he's got 2 hours of quality time to get the kids dressed in while you have a bit of a sleep, 'payback' for him waking you up to let him in?

RueLaChesty Mon 30-May-11 07:55:47

Beesimo, he usually gets plenty of rest as its normally and 8-8 shift and every second week 2 of his days off fall when i'm workin and DCs in nursery, so uninterriupted long lies.

but he specifically swapped this shift so he could see to kids as i'm ill.

iskra Mon 30-May-11 07:57:32

I totally get that you are feeling tired & resentful, but I think you should let this go for once. He probably needed to wind down before going to bed.

Maybe when he's up you could get a nap in?

RueLaChesty Mon 30-May-11 07:58:58

lots of x posts, sorry i'm too slow this morning.

kaj32 Mon 30-May-11 07:59:35

Oh so a poor iccle man needs more rest cos he works hard. What crap.

Give him another hour then send the kids up.

Oh and, because he swapped shifts specifically to help you when you are ill and have work to d, yanbu.

Hope you feel better soon.

RueLaChesty Mon 30-May-11 08:20:08

thanks Kaj, i thought i was being a monster. He actually does not bad, he works 4 days from 8-8 and then comes home and has his dinner and watches tv (occasionally I nag him to iron).

but i work 3-4 days a week pick kids up, come home, make dinner, bath and bed for kids, tidy up, put DPs dinner on and get my stuff out for making orders so 7 nights a week i work from 8pm ish until 11 or 12.

i have stuff on v+ from weeks ago, his stuff was only from saturday night and he could have watched it tonight!

yes he works hard but so do I!

He's got 10 mins then i'm sending in the troops.

i can't even go to bed now as we have to take car to garage for 10.

beesimo Mon 30-May-11 08:26:25


Your DH irons my DH don't even know where the laundry room is!

BulletWithAName Mon 30-May-11 08:29:37

I think you're BU personally.

SunshineisSorry Mon 30-May-11 08:30:41

I cannot believe the OP has got flamed here, shes ill - yeah her DH must be knackered as this isnt his normal shift so his body clock will be out of kilter but shes ill and he said he was going to get up with the kids - he needs to grow a pair

ShellyBoobs Mon 30-May-11 08:38:12


If the plan was for him to get up with the DCs this morning, then he should have got up.

I understand what people are saying about him needing to unwind after work but this was a one-off, from what OP said, so he should have been prepared to get up like he said he would.

RueLaChesty Mon 30-May-11 08:57:56

thanks for the replies, he's up now and the kids have pulled every toy out so i've sneaked upstairs to lie down for 10 mins before i need to get ready!

He has just admitted that he didn't go to bed till 5. I wish i'd known that, he'd have been up at 6.45am when kids were up!

For those who think IABU, it is a one off. Usually if he works a late or night shift (not very often) i get kids up, dressed and we go out to let him sleep. But i'm ill! He knew i was ill, sitting up till 5am when he said he'd get up with the kids is not on!

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