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to not want to answer dh's mobile while he's driving?

(45 Posts)
HopeForTheBest Fri 07-Jan-11 19:09:37

This happens quite often if we are out and he is driving. Phone rings. He asks me to look and see who it is. I do. It is some mate of his. He then asks me to answer it. And I very rarely do, because I think it is utterly pointless for me to answer and say "sorry, dh is driving at the moment so will call you back when we've stopped", like some sort of Miss Moneypenny-esque secretary.

If he was driving on his own, he would not pick up. He would check to see who had called when he'd stopped driving and then decide whether to call them back or not.

If the situation were reversed, I would never, ever expect (or indeed want) him to answer my phone. I would assume that if one of my friends is calling me, then they want to talk to me.

I also realise that it is ever so petty and effectively no actual bother for me to answer his phone but for some reason it really riles me and I do not want to do it.

So, AIBU?

CoffeeDodger Fri 07-Jan-11 19:10:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cornflowers Fri 07-Jan-11 19:16:06

This is a real peeve of mine, too. My DH does this alot, he also asks me to make calls on his behalf whilst he's driving. It makes me cringe, especially when the person involved is my MIL, or some random work colleague.
YADNBU!

BelleDameSansMerci Fri 07-Jan-11 19:20:16

I think YABU... Not even sure why as your reasons for not answering it are sound but it does just seem a bit petty.

needafootmassage Fri 07-Jan-11 19:21:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mutznutz Fri 07-Jan-11 19:21:50

He's your Husband for God sake....not exactly a hardship for you is it? hmm

strongblackcoffee Fri 07-Jan-11 19:23:45

yanbu - my dh often does the same thing and I hate answering his phone. I agree with your point that all you can really say is that he's driving and can't talk. I hate talking on the phone at the best of times, especially to people I don't know... I know it's pathetic but I don't like it...

borderslass Fri 07-Jan-11 19:28:49

Tell him to get a parrot [handsfree kit]

HopeForTheBest Fri 07-Jan-11 19:55:45

Ok, so about evenly split between BU and NBU.

I know it's petty. But why should I answer it? They want to talk to dh about bikes or stereos or I don't know, whatever it is that he talks about with his mates.
It's utterly pointless for me to answer, isn't it?

atswimtwolengths Fri 07-Jan-11 19:57:36

Why don't you answer it because he asks you to, it's hardly a chore, you love him (presumably) and so you want him to be happy?

newmum001 Fri 07-Jan-11 20:01:52

YANBU it drives me insane having to do this.

atswintwolengths it really doesn't have anything to do with OP making her husband happy. It's his phone, his mates or colleagues and if she's only answering to say he can't talk whats the point.

FabbyChic Fri 07-Jan-11 20:02:55

yabu.

Why not buy him a bluetooth headset so he can answer his own phone.

Sarsaparilllla Fri 07-Jan-11 20:15:41

YANBU, it's pointless if all you can say is 'he'll call you back when he's not driving' why not just leave it and he can call them back when you get where you're going

HopeForTheBest Fri 07-Jan-11 20:16:29

I think he does have that hands-free thingie, but he very rarely uses it - even when he is on his own.

I do indeed love him, but I still don't see who exactly it is helpful for if I answer his mobile to tell his friend that he cannot talk right now.

<stubborn >

HopeForTheBest Fri 07-Jan-11 20:17:17

<and petty >

borderslass Fri 07-Jan-11 20:19:47

Well if he's got a handsfree kit he shouldn't ask you to answer his phone.

atswimtwolengths Fri 07-Jan-11 20:26:23

It would take thirty seconds to say "He's driving and will call you back."

clam Fri 07-Jan-11 20:27:21

To be honest, I think handsfree kits are worse than hand-held devices - for making calls anyway. Invariably I ask it to "call home" and it says, "do you want to call...DS?" So I shout "NO!!!!" and get more and more cross and sweary with it as it keeps asking me to add numbers or return to the main menu. Distracts me from the road.

Sparkletastic Fri 07-Jan-11 20:29:17

YANBU - you are not his PA and they can leave a message on his phone just as easily.

usualsuspect Fri 07-Jan-11 20:30:51

Yabu...how hard is it to say hes driving atm

2rebecca Fri 07-Jan-11 20:38:30

If it's a regular thing I'd ask him on getting in the car to either wear a hands free set or turn the phone off, althoughI'd find my husband having a hands free conversation with me in the car more irritating than be just saying "he's driving and will ring you back later".
Luckily my bloke is antisocial with few friends...

LoveRedShoes Fri 07-Jan-11 20:41:12

I hate this too so think YANBU
I love my DH but don't see why I should act like a PA for friends and family when they specifically want to talk to him. Glad to see I am not alone! It makes me feel like my DS (who is 4) when I put him on the phone to family and he doesn't really want to say anything. That's what voicemail is for!

atswimtwolengths Fri 07-Jan-11 20:43:54

What's all this about being a PA? You are your husband's partner and friend, aren't you?

Some of the complaints about men on here are so justified. I'm single and would rather slit my own throat than be with some of the men I've heard about here.

But moaning about a man who wants you to answer his phone when he's driving and give his friend a message to call him back? For crying out loud! It's just so bloody petty.

Niecie Fri 07-Jan-11 20:48:33

YANBU - I hate it too but mainly because I usually press the wrong button (fancy mobile and completely different to mine) or I have to ask which button and it is as much a distraction to DH as answering the damn thing.

Hate this idea that we have to be available at all times which has come with the proliferation of mobiles. You don't need to take calls no matter what. Mostly they aren't that important.

Why answer it if you can't add anything to the conversation - if they only want to chat to DH all you are is a glorified answering machine.

Actuallawyer Fri 07-Jan-11 20:49:32

YABU. You're just sitting there, you may as well answer it. You can deal with quick queries or failing that, tell them when he's likely to be available.

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