Bit of background:
Me and dh both work full time, but somhow me being on probation on a new job means I do all the getting up overnight.
He works 8-4, I work 12-8, we both have a half hour commute (that can be an hour sometimes in bad weather etc). dc (3 and 1) are in nursery 11-5.
Last week I had to work on the saturday and he didn't. He sent the kids to his parents for the entire time I was working so he could "get on top of the housework". Admittedely the house was shining when I got back from my shift, but this meant that his parents were too tired to take the kids for our usual night off. So yet again I was up and down all night with them.
(By the way, it shouldn't really matter, but just in case anyone assumes he is the main breadwinner, I earn approx twice what he does, with clear potential to be earning even more, although it is commission based so I need to be on top form)
Yesterday was my last day at work, so they had asked for us to come in early so we could finish early. I arranged with his parents that they would look after both dc till it was time to go to nursery. When I finished work, all my workmates went to the pub with the boss buying, but I got a text to say the children were ill and hadn't gone to nursery(bad colds) so I went straight home to pick them up from ILs. DH was late home, then went straight out to meet his friend in the pub.
Today was DHs last day at work. I had an awful day with the kids who were both ill, over excited and grumpy. I have the same cold, so was feeling miserable, and I found out my train to see my family after Christmas has been cancelled (first christmas after losing our beloved grandad who was always central to christmas) so I'm not sure if I will get there. The baby put the remote control in the loo when I turned my back for one minute. Both kids seemed to have a death wish all day, seeking out all danger.
DH texted me at 4.20 to say he had only been let out of work half an hour earlier than normal and had gone for a pint. I told him fair enough, but I had had an awful day and would he be long? If he had said yes, I would have just given the kids an easy tea then. he said he would be setting off home soon, so I waited.
More horrorendous whiny children later, I rang him, feeling really sorry for him that he must be stuck on a bus in the snow. Pub sounds. I asked if he would be much longer, and got a mouthful of abuse- apparently he is trying really hard to not ruin christmas but he finds it difficult as it is such a waste of time and I should realise he isn't perfect, he is a flawed man, and if he didn't have to go to work he wouldn't.
Then when he rolled in (drunk and staggering) he started with how I shouldn't maon about having to look after the kids as he does it EVERY NIGHT. (for two hours. when I actually look after them all morning and overnight with very little input)
he also came out with the gem of "well you chose to get a job, if you can't keep up with your home responsibilities you shouldn't have a job"
ARGH. He is pissed and talking rubbish, but ARGH. He is now crashing about in the kitchen. I have no idea what he is doing. I presume it is something for tomorrow.
I hate it when people do this, but I just don't want to argue at Christmas. I'm going to have to have a word afterwards and get him to stop being a twat somehow - he does this sometimes, he is normal most of the time then has a couple of weeks of being an utter knobhead. In his normal times, he says sorry, but that he just sometimes gets bad tempered and I shouldn't provoke him in those times. I refuse to live like that. He can either sort himself out or fuck off, he could be bloody romeo the rest of the time but if he thinks it is ok to even occaisionally behave like a twat he is obviously secretly always a twat.
Sorry. I do love him, but I have to be practical about this. No twat is turning me into some kind of surrendered wife.
He seems to think I am demanding a constant report on his whereabouts. I'm not, I just want him to listen when I say I really need support, and, if he won't be home when he says he will, to let me know. Not hard.
AIBU?
to be crying and sulking?
BrandyButterPie · 24/12/2010 21:09
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