Sounds silly but I have always felt a bit inferior to my OH's ex wife. They have 2 DC's (whom I adore) and have been separated about 3 years - she left him and at the time he was devastated. He now says he feels they were never really suited and when she changed her mind and asked him back (just before we met) he said no - they were however sleeping together occasionally right up until a week before I met him which has always made me feel a bit :S.
They have a good relationship which is friendly (which I am very happy about) but she only lets us have the kids when its a good time for her and when he does a 300 mile round trip to collect them she gets him to do favours/has asked to borrow money - I feel he panders to her a bit and that she has the upper hand - mainly because of the kids but he has said their marriage was like this too - so for some reason it really bugs me that he is still like this with her.
I haven't met her yet although we have texted and its all really friendly, I wrote her a letter when she freaked out about me meeting the kids explaining I didn't want to step on her toes, and I understood how she might be feeling as my kids have a "stepmum" too, and she then allowed them to come and they have regually for the last 8 months. I have given her a lot of things my kids have grown out of etc.
NYD we are taking the kids back - its our 1st anniversary and mine will be away. I suggested to OH that I could come and meet her as there will be room in the car for me. He said he will suggest it to her. Today I was looking for something for him and found a letter he had written to her before they split up and it expessed how much he loved her wanted her to be his wife still etc (I know I was out of order to read it). While always loving and affectionate to me his has told me he will never marry me because he never wanted to be married in the first place which has always made me feel a bit "second rate".
As the day approaches when I'm possibly going to meet her I am dreading it and just don't want to go there and start comparing myself to her esp with a possible hangover on NYD.
WIBU to completely chicken out and tell OH that I will go for the journey but to drop me off at a Cafe while he drops the DC's off?
I possibly am
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AIBU?
to want to anything BUT meet OH's ex....
25 replies
Ladyanonymous · 02/12/2010 17:34
OP posts:
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