Help please

[aglassofwhitewineforthelady]

I drink a bottle of wine every evening, probably nearer 2 at the weekends. I have a gorgeous DC and OH. OH works away from home during the week so unbeknown to him, or anyone, I sit and drink alone every evening.
Both my Dad and sibling didn't make it to 50 because of alcohol.
I know I am being stupid but just don't know how to stop. Every now and then I have 2/3 days off but then I start again.
I have a GP appointment this week- should I tell them? I am worried about it being on my records and people knowing.
Thank you

[seventhgonickname]

Tell you GP, they'll be able to help.Also so that they can keep and eye on your general health too.Break the cycle and give your child a good childhood.

[Seth]

Hi Glass.

I'm similar to you. I think that being on your own with DCs (bedtimes then just the relief of collapsing onto the sofa) is relevant. I'm a single parent and it feels like a bottle of wine is good company!

I also have that history in my family and really want to avoid a repeat of that .

I go in waves but plan to be alcohol free this week until Thursday. What helps me is ... an alcohol free beer or 2 as a 'treat' after bedtimes and trying to go to bed earlier.

Also I read a book that really helped.. it reframes how you think about booze. I think it was called 'the unexpected joy of being sober' . Buy it or download it.

If you want to go AF this week then we can support each other if you like.

[aglassofwhitewineforthelady]

Hi Seth
Thanks for your message. Yes lets go AF...
x

[winterwonderly]

Can I join you please? If I can at least be alcohol free until Friday that will be an achievement, so that's my aim for this week.

[aglassofwhitewineforthelady]

Hi winterwonderly
My aim is till Saturday. Let's do it.
x

[Seth]

Hi both.

Yes let's. Maybe short goals are the way to go. I am going to hold my hands up and say that I had a glass of wine over the lunch I just had. Not the norm for me at a but I took a client out and it was quite tricky not to.

To be honest it's not that I'm bothered about. It's the evenings sat alone after the kids are in bed (or more recently before I have even started their bedtimes) that I think are the biggest worry for me.


Let's check in with each other daily this week and see how we are doing? I have a night out on Thursday but at this stage I'd just be delighted if I could do Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night AF . That would be the longest in a few years for me!

[Seth]

Hi Glass (sorry don't know how to bold you. Nor you Winter.

I was so busy tonight after doing bedtimes (DD is 11 and doesn't go to sleep until 9.30. Still wants me there for at least some of the bedtime) that I didn't even have time to do my usual slump in front of TV working my way through a bottle of wine.

It was definitely a conscious move to do loads of washing / tidying etc.. and then i may have succumbed but I have recently had a student move in to the spare room and she was upset about a friendship issue (is quickly starting to feel as if I have 3 DC) so I listened / talked to her in the kitchen for 40 minutes .. and was so tired I have come to bed. Feeling glad. How did you / are you getting on?

Glass did you have your doctor's appointment as yet by the way? What did you decide in the end? I would love / not love to see what kind of state my liver is in ... but I'm too scared. Is that ridiculous?

[winterwonderly]

Feeling pretty rubbish that I couldn't even do one night. Had 2 glasses of wine.....had a stressful afternoon and evening for a couple of reasons, and I find that the time around 6pm/7pm is the worst, trying to get 2 young kids into bed after a long day with them and I just feel the need to have a bit of adult time and a glass of wine if that makes sense?

The positive is that I finished off what wine was left in the house, so hoping this will make things easier tonight as I won't be able to reach for a glass if I want to.

So I'm starting again today.

[Seth]

It makes perfect sense and I also completely understand about the temptation of wine in the house = drinking it. It's too easy isn't it? Now my DC are a bit older it's so easy for me to nip down to the shop and get wine. What I have started doing is not getting wine as I walk past it on my way back from work , then putting my pjs on almost as soon as I get in so less likely to go later!

Don't beat yourself up. If you didn't watch the Adrian Chiles programme on IPlayer then do. It's not life changing but does make you think. I have also (as a result) downloaded the Drinkaware app on my phone which tracks your units (only yesterday !) . I don't think I could hope to get to 14 units per week but I worked out how many I was currently on roughly and got a huge shock. I think I need scaring into making changes! Good luck for today (or rather tonight) to us.

[Octsober]

Do you mind if I join?

A quick synopsis: I started drinking at 14 or so and been a classic heavy drinker to a greater or lesser extent ever since.

Since getting married and having two DSs the pressure of career and rather difficult OH I have been drinking more and more regularly to self medicate. The last 12 years have seen this creep up to over 150 units a week (yes 150).

I have a good job, beautiful family, live in a great area. In some people the dopamine reactions leaving vulnerable to addiction of specific substances - I'm one those that struggles with alcohol.

Three weeks ago I started on The Alcohol Experiment, I've drank four days in that time and less than 100 units.

I'm aiming for a dry October and a more moderate life beyond.

[winterwonderly]

@aglassofwhitewineforthelady how did you get on last week? And everyone else? Did you speak to your GP? I failed miserably unfortunately but I'm now so sick of drinking so much that I'm feeling more motivated to make a change. The aim for now is just to think about having the few days alcohol free, and starting some exercise in the evenings, and then we'll see where to go from there. Wish me luck.

[Seth]

Glass

Yes I had a similar week and even more boozy weekend. It's like once I have fallen off on one night my willpower to get back on the wagon is non existent. I am sitting here at work feeling really awful , tired and hungover. Like you I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. No good. Back to sq 1 today. Good luck!

[winterwonderly]

@Seth I know that feeling. However, I signed up to The Alcohol Experiment after I heard someone on here talk about it, and I'm feeling a bit more positive about making a change. And I've signed up to go to a circuits class one evening a week to give me a focus on doing something in the evening rather than reaching for a glass of wine.

Shall we see if we can at least keep the next few days alcohol free?

[Seth]

Hi Glass. Yes let's do that. Even 3 nights in a row (going out on Thursday) would seem like a major achievement right now!!

[winterwonderly]

@Seth how are you getting on tonight? I'm on day 2 with no alcohol which I know doesn't seem a lot, but I'm not missing it yet and I feel like this is a major achievement. Got a few things done around the house this evening and looking forward to hopefully getting a good sleep (young children permitting!). Just feeling much more positive all round than I have done in a long time.