DH is an alcoholic. He says so himself but in a jokey way, so I don't think he actually believes he is.
He was diagnosed with depression towards the end of last year. This led to a big increase in his drinking. He started to get back on top of things, though he was still drinking, then he lost his job (sort of related to his issues but a whole other story). Things got a lot worse and he was drinking to excess most days. He has recently got a new job, and while this is great, he thinks he no longer has a drink problem because he doesn't can't drink on the days he's working or he'd be unable to stop. Unfortunately he drinks non-stop on his days off. This is obviously bad for him, our relationship and family life. It also has practical implications as there will be times when I'm working on his days off and he will be taking care of DS. This hasn't yet happened since he started the new job but obviously concerns me.
I know I can't make him do anything about his drinking, nor prevent him from doing so. I don't want to leave him because I believe hope he can get on top of his problem. I love him very much and I know he has an 'illness'. It would also be very difficult practically speaking as I would struggle to find affordable childcare to cover my shifts, and cutting my hours/changing job is not a viable option (I do realise how selfish that sounds )
I'm hoping someone can offer advice on what I can do to support him and encourage him in any effort he makes not to drink.
Do I acknowledge his efforts when he's working? Ignore them as drawing attention to it makes him think about drink?
What do I do/say when he doesn't try at all? Just ignore it? Tell him it's ok, everyone has bad days? Go nuts about it?
Should I not drink at all (I don't drink often and never to excess) and ban alcohol from the house?
Also, what can I do to ease the burden of worry on myself and ensure DS is not adversely affected by DH's alcoholism and depression? Or is there really no hope and I just have to 'LTB'?
Any advice would be appreciated
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Alcohol support
DH's drinking
16 replies
ninjapants · 13/08/2016 21:19
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