DNA Tests unethical and unfair?

[RomanyQueen1]

I am adopted pre 1975 I'm an oldie more babies adopted in my birth year than all the others in the 60's.

Our birth mothers were told that we would never be given their details and a lot of men probably didn't find out they were fathers.
What a bloody shock, especially as this age is now the target audience for Ancestry et al.

I know this has nothing to do with adoption today and the laws have changed, but this just seems wrong.

Some sort of mediation or assessment should be the norm, especially considering the amoun of

[RomanyQueen1]

oh posted too soon.

people this involves.

[Italiangreyhound]

I certainly agree a large number of people were affected and there should be help to reconnect people of that's what they want.



I'm not sure what the title has to do with the posts.

[RomanyQueen1]

Aw, sorry.
Well it's unfair to me that it's allowed because people could be hurt. The DNA test can link to birth parents, it doesn't take too much working out who they are.
I think it's right that adopted people know their story, I know mine. In fact I guessed, but that's another thread.
I was lucky that I had my dh for support and the wonderful service of "The Adoption and Family Finding Unit" in Norwich. who were absolutely amazing apart from a major gaff.

[Italiangreyhound]

RomanyQueen1 I'm glad you have your dh for support.

[FlippFlop]

What part is unethical or unfair?
I found my bio parents through DNA testing and that was after years of having doors shut in my face by social services.
I had no medical history, no idea of how i got here, and no real sense of identity.
It was a shock to BM but she is an amazing person and we have a great relationship now.
I had to go and find my answers because nobody would give me any and THAT is what is unethical and unfair.

[DonutCone]

My DGM has never told DM who her Father is. My DM has a right to know, so she has taken a DNA test and hopes to find a match. I just don’t feel anything trumps your basic right to know who your parents are.

[Moominmammaatsea]

I think a basic premise on the adoption board (mainly frequented by adoptive parents, but obviously not limited to them exclusively) is that children need to know about their families of origin. For all sorts of reasons, including identity, health (those pesky life-threatening allergies) and to avoid unwitting birth siblings potentially becoming sexually attracted to each other.

[Offredalba]

Original birth certificates have always been available to adopted people over the age of 17 years in Scotland, due to the Scottish law on inheritance.
Mothers were never told that they couldn't be found, only that they couldn't look.

[Malyshek]

and to avoid unwitting birth siblings potentially becoming sexually attracted to each other.

Huh, let's be honest, that's so highly unlikely that it's not really a good reason... it could happen maybe once in a million, if that.

Yes to all the other reasons though.

[CreepyPasta]

I’ve always known I was adopted and made contact with BM who refused to tell me any information about BF. I’ve done the ancestry dna test in the hope that I can find out information about that side of my birth family. No close connections as of yet. I think it’s a good thing that I’ve had the option to to this. Even if it comes to nothing.

[Moominmammaatsea]

Huh, let's be honest, that's so highly unlikely that it's not really a good reason... it could happen maybe once in a million, if that.

Actually, no, it’s a well recognised and well researched biological phenomenon. My daughter’s nearest biological brother is living and attending high school only four miles away from our home and I was asked by social workers to avoid sending her to his secondary in order to keep both children safe.

[Malyshek]

Actually, no, it’s a well recognised and well researched biological phenomenon. My daughter’s nearest biological brother is living and attending high school only four miles away from our home and I was asked by social workers to avoid sending her to his secondary in order to keep both children safe.

I'm sure you and social services are trying to do what's best for your daughter, and of course that's your call to make, but if you know he is her brother you could just, y'know, tell her ? She might like to get a chance to connect to someone biologically related to her.

Although of course I recognize that I don't know the full situation and there may be other reasons to not do that.