I think I may have some form of PAD.
DS has been home for nearly 5 months. Had a rough few weeks at the start but he is very happy and settled and generally lovely. I love spending time with him and find so much happiness in him.
Unfortunately though it has massively impacted on my relationship with my DSS(8). Ive been a part of his life since he was 2 and he's always been my best pal. But all of a sudden I am being vile to him and I don't know what to do. I was going to post this in stepparents board but I definitely think this is related to the adoption rather than just "new baby comes along and strong starts resenting her stepchild". I find faults in everything he does, very minor things that aren't important but I lose my temper at him (not infront of DS).
Today my DSS has heard me utter the words "I am done with you" and now I fucking hate myself. I have apologised, cuddled him, reassured him that j love him so so much and that something inside me has broken and I need to get it fixed but that it is absolutely not his fault.
I don't even know why I'm posting tbh, I almost hope no one else has experience with this because it's such an awful thing for a child to have to experience on top of the added strains of a new adoptes sibling.
I just need to fix it because I cannot have him resenting me, or his brother.
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Post adoption depression and step families
4 replies
BPG20 · 20/05/2018 18:39
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