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If you were adopted, do you have any blood relatives?

(10 Posts)
BubblesInMyTea Sat 19-May-18 13:56:00

I have 3 children who came to me through adoption. They are full bio sisters.

I was adopted myself when I was 3 following the death of my parents. I have zero blood relatives that I know of. Both my bio parents were only children as was I.

I will never have bio children of my own.

It bothers me occasionally that I don't have any blood relatives.

My wife is one of 8 kids, both parents and 3 out of 4 grandparents are alive, lots of cousins aunts and uncles.

I am the total opposite.

donquixotedelamancha Sat 19-May-18 17:04:34

I have 3 genetic siblings out there somewhere. Presumably/possibly two parents as well.

Honestly doesn't matter to me too much. I keep meaning to have a look for the siblings, but life gets in the way. I think family is little to do with genes.

We are all, however, very different. No harm in doing some investigating if you want to. I didn't know about my biological siblings until a few years ago.

BubblesInMyTea Sat 19-May-18 17:55:14

The only bio relations I might have would be cousins and aunts/uncles.

It just makes me sad when I see my wife with all her siblings. We went to my wife's brother's wedding last weekend and it was wonderful but also sad to see everyone together. I have nobody. My adoptive parents were great, couldn't wish for anything more, but it was obvious I was adopted due to me being mixed race.

clairedelalune Sat 19-May-18 23:38:26

I am not adopted (have adopted). My parents are only children and i have no other blood relatives (my grandparents died long ago). Well i do (2nd cousins etc), on my mums side, but i have never ever met any of them, neither do I have any desire to do so. My 'relatives' are my godparents and their children,to whom.i am very very close. Family is what you make it, in my opinion. I am very very grateful for my family and 'relatives'

L0UISA Sun 20-May-18 15:59:08

Have you accessed your adoption records ? You might find more information about biological relatives .

BubblesInMyTea Sun 20-May-18 17:05:23

No, I've not seen my adoption records. My bio parents died rather than giving me up.

footwear2o2 Sun 20-May-18 18:49:10

I have a huge bio family but because of various dramas in my early life I only discovered half of it when I was an adult. At that point I found out about grandparents and great grandparents and although they were not still around it was a momentous thing, because of the similarities in appearance, likes and dislikes, talents, character. It really was fantastic. And I think in some ways it changed my life because I found myself much more confident about who I was and what I wanted. Obviously everyone is different, but would finding out more about your grandparents and any distant cousins still alive be of interest?

MarmiteTermite Wed 23-May-18 21:06:36

I was adopted as a baby and had had no luck finding birth relatives. I took an Ancestry dna rest and it came up with 176 relatives including a second cousin and lots of third and fourth cousins. I am constructing my tree and have about 250 people on there so far! I am also in touch now with my second cousin and have been sent lots of photos smile

L0UISA Thu 24-May-18 01:51:22

No, I've not seen my adoption records. My bio parents died rather than giving me up

In that case I strongly recommend that you do so. The records will contain useful information about the circumstances surrounding your adoption and details that will allow you to try to trace any relatives.

Would your wife ( or a friend) support you in this? It can be quite stressful and throw up a lot of difficult feelings. It’s not uncommon to find out a lot of new information, or to discover that what you thought was the case isn’t actually what happened.

Can I ask if you are close to your adoptive parents ?

badgerhead Thu 24-May-18 22:32:14

I do! I was adopted as a baby and recently accessed my adoption records. I already knew my parents were married & that my mother died soon after I was born. However through my adoption records I found out I have a full older sister. After some detective work, I have managed to find her and we have now chatted online. She wasn't told about my birth, and only found out about me after our father died 17 years ago.
It is still early days since first contact, so I expect things to move slowly between us whilst we both assimilate the information we have shared.

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