Hello all
I'm afraid this is a bit of a long story, but rather than drip feeding want to put it all out there.
I'm 37 and DH is 46. We have had 3 rounds of IVF with no success. We are just about to complete out 4th and final IVF, but are not really hopeful as I have appallingly low quality eggs.
We have discussed adoption before and have been to an information evening, but the more I read about adoption the more scared I became about the potential issues of children in care and really went off the idea.
We've just returned from holiday with Sister, BIL and their 3 year old daughter. Whilst it was full on with Niece, we had a really fabulous time and really enjoyed having DN around us. She has so much energy and makes us laugh all of the time.
Although we did enjoy our time away it did come at a very tragic time in our family. In December our other DN died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome at 16 months old. We have all been devastated by this as you can imagine. I still cry every single day at her sudden and cruel loss and I'm just her Auntie. I honestly don't know how her parents are coping, but they are doing amazingly and are such an inspiration. Our older Niece has saved their sanity I'm sure.
So after this holiday DH has said that if our 4th IVF doesn't work he definitely wants to explore adoption again. He said he saw a glimpse of what our life could be like whilst away with DN and feels like we would be happy just us two and our beloved pooch but feels we could have so much more.
I agree with him but my goodness I'm terrified. Whenever I'm scared about something I tend to push it to the back of my mind and focus on other things. I suppose its self preservation or something like that.
I suppose I've read too many horror stories (there aren't many people who post to say you know what we're just a normal family with normal problems), the only stories you tend to read are the ones where people are struggling massively.
I'm scared and confused, I look around at all of our family & friends and want what they have, but I suppose each others path is different to their destination.
Did anyone else feel this scared about deciding to adopt?
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Scared and Confused
14 replies
bridgetjones1 · 26/03/2018 10:08
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