I'm an older adoptee who was adopted into a loving family and I have always been accepted and loved by my family. My father passed away 8 years ago & my mother at the beginning of this year. My older brother (birth child) has been dealing with the estate & probate has been granted and the estate distributed. Along with my mother's papers my brother found a file relating to my adoption and told me that he suggested to my mother that I should have it after my father died, but she refused. He has now forwarded it onto me and although I already knew some of the information about my birth family, there is some information in it that I wasn't aware of.
I already knew that my BM died during or soon after giving birth to me, and that even if she hadn't died I would have been adopted. My BP's were married but my BM had had polio causing her to become disabled hence my adoption. Now I find that I have an older sister, by 11 years, who stayed with my BF & his in laws after my BM's death. Through research I believe I have found her, and now am unsure whether to try and contact her. I do not want to cause too many problems for her family (she is a grandmother, as am I), but I would like to know more about my birth family. I do not hold any grudges around the circumstances of my adoption and can see the reasoning behind it. (Think late 1950's early 1960's).
I am just in this quandary about whether to contact her, and if I do how to do it. Do I message her direct through social media, or do I try and find an intermediary, perhaps through the original adoption agency who although have changed names are still around. The thing is because she isn't my mother I don't know whether the agency can/would get involved.
Is there anyone on this board who has any experience of something like this or has knowledge or suggestions as to how I should proceed, please?
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Adult adoptee has found out more info about birth family, what to do?
4 replies
badgerhead · 30/08/2017 18:51
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