Hove move/renovation

Alltheusernamesaretaken321 · 2017-08-18 12:26:58

Hi guys, Sit tight, think I'm about to vomit a stream of consciousness here to try and figure out our best course of action and ask you wise owls a few questions. We've been patiently (yeah right!) waiting 6 months from our last miscarriage to be able to apply to adopt and doing all the practical bits and pieces around the house, having a lovely holiday together, as well as having some counselling to help us process our losses and grief. All being well we should be able to register our interest and arrange an initial visit by late October. We went to an adoption open evening recently where a mum who adopted siblings spoke and now DH is very taken with the idea of adopting siblings if it's decided it's the best placement for them. Now the issue is we only have two bedrooms. Our house is a good size, loads of storage, big garden and could comfortably house 2 small kids but they wouldn't have a room each. We spoke to a SW at the event and they said this wouldn't be a deal breaker. We're in the probably quite fortunate position that in our area there are far more children waiting than approved adopters and they're actively recruiting prospective adopters particularly for sibling groups so some of the rules are being relaxed a little. (Maybe for the benefit of adopters in the short term rather than for their potential children) they also don't seem to have the rule that this has to be done before the application process, the team manager stated that as long as any moves or work is completed before kids move in that's acceptable. DH has suddenly jumped into action and started talking about a house move or extension whereas I'd prefer to hang back a little and wait to see. It feels like a bit of a chicken and egg situation as we might not even be approved for siblings and the cost will be huge at a time when we really need to be saving money. ( I suspect part of my initial response of annoyance is that I suggested this yonks ago and he poo pooed the idea and now we've had a role reversal!) My gut instinct is telling me to hang fire, start the process and then reassess. Either we might settle on adopting one child after exploring further or if/when the right kids come along who can share a room we make do and after a couple of years we move once they need a bit more space or extend sideways. (Obviously putting in an awful lot of work to prep them for the move/renovations) DH wants to move house now which would delay things and potentially have a huge impact financially. To me it feels a bit like putting the cart before the horse! We might only be approved for one and then we'll have delayed things and accrued debt/increased our outgoings for no reason. Obviously I'm not asking anyone to make the decision for us but just wanted to hear of other people's experiences of moving house or doing and extension before/after the adoption assessment process as I want to be able to weigh up the pros and cons of each option and currently we're just working with a hypothetical situation so would be great to hear from you guys. Thanks so much if you've made it this far through my waffling! I hope the summer holidays are treating those of you with school aged kids kindly!

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