DH and I recently adopted toddler siblings and they're still attaching to us, having had two traumatic moves already, first from birth parents then from foster carer who they were with over a year, they're rightly unclear on the fact that they're staying with us forever, even if they've heard the words and can even repeat them. The problem I'm having is friends and even total strangers just pick them up and cuddle them without permission. Yesterday the youngest fell and hit his head- not enough to make him cry, he's very rough and tumble- but a guy walking by who clearly saw we were all together stopped down picked him up and cuddled him, HE WASN'T CRYING! I tried to keep my cool and said "pop him down please" and he ARGUED WITH ME! Saying "oh he really took a bump to the head". Another time we were all in the park and I tend to my distance rather than helicopter parent (after the awesomeness of Love and Logic training recommended by adoption agency), and a woman took my child from the top of a climbing frame when she decided he was too small to make it down (he always figures it out in the end) and swung him round making close eye contact smiling and cooing over him. I didn't say anything that time because while horrific she did put him down and he carried on playing and I was too angry and stunned to keep my cool and construct a polite or even coherent sentence. Fallout from this described below.
So my question is: Is this normal? Do strangers do this with other kids too? Mine are unusually cute and affectionate (not biased on this one, it's really becoming an issue ) but that doesn't mean they're teddy bears or dolls for the amusement of strangers. The big problem this causes is attachment confusion. Understandably, since we met them on a Monday and they were living with us by the Sunday. So they'll say at bedtime: "Mummy, is that nice lady from the park going to be my new mummy?" This happens a lot with all sorts of people who have just decided to pick them up and cuddle them! I'm constantly taking them off people. It's getting ridiculous. I can't quarantine them forever, they need to socialise and grow and play.
So...What should I do?! I feel like putting a sticker on their clothes saying "put me the f**k down, I'm not a toy!" Or a PA sign at the entrance to all our park crawl favourites saying "leave other people's children alone unless in mortal danger!"
Rant over, advice gratefully accepted. Xx
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
AIBU to not want anyone else to pick up my child?
54 replies
TwelveTwentyfour · 06/03/2017 21:30
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.