Potty training regression, what do I do!!!

[MintyLizzy9]

Hi all

DS cracked potty training in Dec (took about a month, still had maybe one accident just before bed).

Jan brought lots of change, he had a horrible virus so lots of meds, I returned to work so his nursery hours went up, he turned 3 so moved into the preschool room at nursery so some pretty big changes for him.

Potty training has gone out the window, in fact it's worse than the first week of potty training! Constantly peeing himself but still peeing on the loo and potty and I don't actually know where all the pee is coming from as you'd think he was having 6 pints of water a day! Also started soiling himself which only happened once during potty training but now can be up to twice a day.

I don't want to jump straight back into nappies or pull ups as he will NEVER ask for the loo of he's wearing one but we can't go on like this either. Will going back to pull ups cause more harm than good or would it be a good idea to go back to them for a couple of months?

Behaviour is also becoming challenging but I'm putting that down to being tired and a threenager! Sleep regression also but he slept through last night so hoping its a step into him feeling more comfortable with the new routine.

On the plus side his speech has moved on a bit!

On the down side I'm exhausted and feeling at the end of my tether.

Sorry that turned into something of a moan, my only question really is pull ups and revisit potty training in a few weeks or continue as we are?

Oh and is it too early for wine?

[tldr]

16 minutes to wine o clock here. Will use a couple of them replying.

Sounds like there's a lot going on for him, so, I would probably go back to nappies, tbh. In the normal run of things you could try again in another couple of months and he'll have likely forgotten it was ever a thing.

But, from my own limited experience of just turned 3year olds, he might have some quite strong opinions on it. (Once DS decided he was going to wear pants, I literally never got him into a (daytime) nappy again.)

[MintyLizzy9]

ive just poured myself a beer!

He was so pleased with himself when he mastered it so I'm just sad for him and yes frustrated in the amount of clean up involved!

He's done so well with everything that's gone on since Christmas but yes his little veeeery big personality seemed to have burst out since his birthday. I think I need to start stock piling booze for his teenage years 😏

[crispandcheesesandwichplease]

Any chance he might have a UTI Minty? Rarer in boys than girls but not impossible.

A agree with tldr about putting him back in pull ups for now. Hopefully a bit of wanting to be like the other 'big boys' will spur him on to try again in the not too distant future. I appreciate that it's frustrating but better than having a daily battle.

He's had a lot of changes recently and I think adopted children tend to regress more than other when stressed. I'd tell him that maybe he wasn't ready to toilet train and that's fine so as to counteract any feelings of failure or frustration he may be experiencing.

[MintyLizzy9]

He wees a lot at the best of times so not sure about uti. He's just finished a course of anti b's so would have expected those to have seen off a uti but possibly. Back in pull ups today and he's not remotely bothered! They have a car on so he's happy and I've just stocked up some peppa pig ones from asda so he'll be happy as a pig in.... 😏

lots of baby babbling at the minute as well so all pointing to regression.

we have the next few days together so no work or nursery so will pile on the cuddles and baby time X

[Kr1stina]

Good plan. Keep him in pull ups for a while until he's more settled.

And remember that because we have recycled children, we get to use disposable nappies forever without the slightest shred of guilt

[Kr1stina]

I'm wondering if a bottle might help him move through this stage ? I guess he's telling you that his needs werent met when he was a baby and he trusts you now to do that.

If you do a bottle it needs to be only when he's cradled in your arms AND makinh eye contact ( unless he's falling asleep ) . Don't let him run around with it or sit on your lap facing away from you.

Just a thought .

[MintyLizzy9]

I thought about a bottle but he won't entertain it! He loves his sports bottle though but has never once lay back with me or by himself to drink it, at most he will lounge back on the sofa but won't lie back. Will keep trying it though. He's insisting I spoon feed him but only his yogurt I just get a stern I dooooo and a frown for anything else 🤔 Saying that he had a hissy because peppa pig wasnt on the tv and a bigger one when I put peppa on, some days I can't win! I suspect that's more to do with being 3 though 😄

Food is another story, I've been going with the flow for 14 months but he will still only have a handful of foods. Trying not to worry about that now as he's growing well can't keep him in bloody shoes or haircuts and he likes taking vitamins so the rubbish sausages and nuggets will be a daily feature for the foreseeable.

Today has been good, no stressing about wet clothes and lots of fun in the very cold and snowy park!

[thethoughtfox]

Why don't you ask him and let him make the choice? Their answers can be quite revealing. He might want to do big boy stuff or he might need to be a 'baby' at the moment. Mine is the same age, making new friends at nursery and being a big girl but seems to be becoming more attached to some 'baby' stuff and routines and says she wants to be a baby.

[Kr1stina]

There are worse things in most adopted children's lives that sausages and nuggets.

Sounds like you are doing a great job.

[MintyLizzy9]

Struggling at the minute. His sleep is still all over the place so both exhausted and behaviour just seems to get worse each day. I just can't seem to keep my cool and not shout at him. This should be the easy time, I'm at work all day so should be full of patience but my patience is gone within 10 minutes of coming home. He won't listen to me at all, during dinner tonight he just repeatedly hit me, I tried telling him about kind hands, offered a hug, it's not kind behaviour, not acceptable then finally removed him from the table only for him to stand behind me hitting me. There has been zero therapeutic parenting done this last week, I've just been short tempered and shouty which I know really isn't helping

Counting down to bedtime, tomorrow is another day and all that.