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I'm in court this morning (gulp)

(16 Posts)
smEGGnogg Wed 04-Jan-17 08:38:26

Just that. Husband is adopting my children. Today is the hearing where the dc father is supposed to attend.

Neither of us has ever been in a police station never mind a court room. For ex, it will be like a walk in the park (long criminal record)

I am sooooo nervous.

CrazyGreyhoundLady Wed 04-Jan-17 08:43:04

Remember you are there not because you did something wrong but because your husband is doing something wonderful.

flowers best of luck!

smEGGnogg Wed 04-Jan-17 08:58:24

Thank you for the reply. That is the truest thing that anyone has said to me through this whole process.

gabsdot Wed 04-Jan-17 08:59:17

Best of luck.
For our DDS adoption hearing we were put in the criminal court room. (In Russia). It was huge with the judge sitting up at the front on big platform and there was a large cage/cell in the corner, bars and all.
All very stern and serious.
Anyway. I'm sure family court won't be like that.
Good luck

smEGGnogg Wed 04-Jan-17 09:03:54

Wow gabs that sounds very intimidating! Hopefully they don't clap me in irons today grin

fudgesmummy Wed 04-Jan-17 09:05:32

Good luck for today, what a lovely thing to be happening though!

hookliedandsinkedher Wed 04-Jan-17 09:13:24

Family court is ok, think of an old style meeting room with a big desk or oak table, computer and a middle aged kindly posh man (ime). No bars, cages or anything!

Hope all goes well. Will your ex definitely turn up?

smEGGnogg Wed 04-Jan-17 09:19:25

Thank you. Yes I thought it'd be more like a board room meeting than an actual judge/jury kind of situation. No less nervous though. Family court where we are is notoriously tough (apparently)

That's the thing..I can never be sure of what he'll do. He hasn't seen them in nearly 6 years so he'd have some front if he does show. The social worker and cafcass officer seem to think he won't come but I know that man. He's always been a shit stubborn.

catsnickedallmypens Wed 04-Jan-17 15:12:43

How did it go today OP? Did your ex turn up?

CrazyGreyhoundLady Wed 04-Jan-17 16:02:51

Thinking of you OP, hope all went smoothly

smEGGnogg Wed 04-Jan-17 16:33:00

Yes he did. And he contested. Which came as no great surprise to me but has rocked my husband a bit.

He's messed around every agency that we've met with but the judge has given him another chance to have his say and provide evidence to support his views.

He's managed to stall it again hmm

But he has no evidence. The judge did tell him that he'd have to provide something huge before she'll change her mind so although it's going to take even longer, I'm hopeful.

hookliedandsinkedher Wed 04-Jan-17 17:09:52

Sorry it didn't go smoothly.

Would your husband be granted PR, instead of adoption, if your ex is being difficult? Often, judges are happier to give extra people PR than they are to take PR away. Could save stress and solicitor costs, and functionally give your family the security they need of knowing your husband has legal standing as a parent?

flapjackfairy Thu 05-Jan-17 09:22:22

Your ex will need to prove significant changes for the positive and that it is in the childrens best interests to even be granted permission to appeal so this is highly unlikely to get anywhere op. The judge has to be seen to give him a chance to present the evidence he has (or thinks he has) before refusing leave to appeal so i would be surprised if she doesnt throw it out at next hearing and grant ao.
After all most children are adopted against their birth parents wishes if adoption is in their best interests and it certainly sounds like that is the case here.
Try not to worry too much . Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

smEGGnogg Thu 05-Jan-17 10:11:29

Settling for PR would not be an option for us hook.

Thank you flapjack. Yes I feel hopeful. We consulted with a solicitor yesterday afternoon. He was very nice and said we have such a good case that we would be wasting our money if we paid for representation now. The local authority (although they are acting on behalf of the children) have been really reassuring and said the same as you, the judge has to be seen to give him every opportunity but it's unlikely to change the outcome as he has only been given 4 weeks to change the last 6 years.

fudgesmummy Thu 05-Jan-17 10:18:09

So sorry to hear it didn't go well

Babygirl55 Wed 22-Feb-17 13:17:02

I think we are in a very similar situation as you but we did not get to the hearing stage yet. My ex is contesting the adoption after 8 years of no contact! I wonder what he will say in his defense!

I have a post about our step parent adoption as well. I wish you all the luck in the world and update us pls smile

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