As some of you might remember, we have a lovely little girl, 11mo, who was placed with us via FtA at 6mo. BP have history of learning difficulties and drug/alcohol misuse. BM has history of cocaine, heroin, alcohol misuse- however, we were told that BM had "only" taken legal highs during pregnancy. With our bullshit detecting hats on we were pretty sure this wasn't the case, and sure enough, far down the line, we've seen in a midwife's report that BM admitted to using a whole slew of stuff. We have been badgering the local hospital for an assessment of her since she moved in with us (which should have been done by the LA, but obviously they have other priorities). Eventually we got said assessment, and afterwards the team of OT, physio, GP & Paediatrician spoke to me in soft voices about how she was "showing a bit of delay" before sending us away.
DP has just showed me a letter that has arrived today which is a write up of the assessment. It's not so soft-voicy, it's quite blunt, and will probably end up being a powerful tool to help our LO. But to see the words "Global Developmental Delay" and the list of things that have likely led to it (both pre and peri natal) has just made me so angry at BM for the first time. I've tried to feel detached and kindly toward her but now I just feel so so sad and angry. LO was born in such distress the implication is that on top of possible FASD/NAS she also may have some brain damage from lack of oxygen. BM was high at birth.
Our LO is learnign so much, coming on steadily and surely, but she is miles behind lots of others. Now I'm scared for her future. Think I just need a hand hold. The ironic thing is that this very evening I am giving being "The Adopter" in an information evening for the LA. Must get this sour taste out of my mouth before then or I might just cry and that probably isn't the desired effect. BAH.
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Adoption
Angry
arielmanto · 22/11/2016 11:07
Oh Ariel 
Youve just made me cry too. I'm so so sorry. I recognise a lot of what you're saying; anger, fear, possibly some grief too? And attempting to be understanding and kind. I have no practical advice, but bucketfuls of sympathy.
Ariel, I'm sending you some
My experience with salt isn't with an adc, but with an older bc. I do know that in many areas you can now self refer to salt drop in even at your l o 's age and they can give you some helpful things to focus on. Iirc with this age group that often suggest you make exaggerated mouth movements and encouraging eye contact when you are speaking e.g. Play games saying p p p. See if she will copy, that kind of thing.
Has she had a recent hearing test as that is usually suggested for speech delay? If not you will probably want to press for it.
Oh ariel
In our area SALT starts with a group (run by HVs not SALTs) which focuses on social interaction as the basis for delays - so teaching parents how to turn off the TV and say 'po-TAY-to'. This is why we have never accessed it. I think it is one of these NHS pathways things but it's very unhelpful for those of us who know our issues are not social.
Is it possible for you to find out about the pathways from your paed if you have one and insist on being referred up immediately if they are run like this?
get angry, I found it gave me the energy to push/get stroppy with SS. It's bloody heartbreaking to hear things that SS clearly have kept back or ignored.
My DS has some delay, the main being speech and I've found that the SALT varies by LA. His placing LA only started to work directly with children from age 3, you get added to the waiting list when they turn 3, however my LA starts at 2. Honestly I've not found it to be great for him so far, his attention is very low and he showed very little interest, he was 2 3/4's when he had the sessions but obviously still young for his age and would just throw his chair at the therapist when he'd had enough five minutes into it
Our health visitor referred us in and it took a few months for the initial assessment to happen.
Honestly I got lucky with my HV, she was VERY understanding and experienced and got DS in front of lots of people for assessments and follow ups and was like a dog with a bone chasing people up! One of the services she referred to was a portage team, not sure if it's regional but they come out to your home and work one on one with children with significant delays, DS wasn't considered to be delayed enough following their assessment of him for ongoing support but what they did sounded very supportive so it may be worth asking about that.
Xxx
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