Foster to adopt

[imkeepingeverythingcrossed]

Just a quick question.

We adopted our son 18 months ago and have been thinking about fta. But say our sons bm gives birth and we're approached for fta (agree/approved etc) would the baby come to us the day it was born? I cannot find this answer anywhere else so am hoping one of you lovelies could help. TIA xx

[TearingDownTheWall]

Not necessarily - it depends on circumstances and each pregnancy would be assessed individually. I know three couples who have had a sibling placed. All were over 12 months. Sadly in my LA it seems to slow things down - the child is deemed as nit being at risk and the plan is agreed so they then postpone and delay matching panel because there is no urgency to do it.

[flossietoot]

Hi, this is fairly unlikely. As far as I am aware, they can not begin adoption proceedings until the baby is actually born, and generally, they have to be very very certain that the mum is not going to be able to cope for whatever reason this time round. They have to look at the situation at the present time, not entirely on what may have happened in the past (although this will of course be very important).

[Maiyakat]

It's very unlikely to be the day baby is born, as the local authority cannot go to court for a care order until baby is born and this takes a few days at least. However babies do go straight from hospital to foster to adopt placements (with all the provisos that flossie has mentioned).

[matimeo]

It's far from impossible, but only in certain specific situations:

It's quite common for subsequent children to be removed at birth where circumstances haven't changed and mean there is no chance of mum providing adequate care. Serious drug users are an obvious example.

In those circumstances (assuming a birth family placement isn't a goer) the child would go to FC. The only way the child would come to you immediately is as a family placement (your child being related) or if the FtA plans can be organised pre-birth. This is only going to happen if the SW has done some work before hand and if you have been passed as an FC. You would be starting purely as an FC and the adoption plan couldn't be confirmed until later court decisions.

This can't happen retrospectively. Once the child goes to a long term FC it can't later come to you until/unless placed for adoption (i.e. no swap to FtA to place early). So in these circumstances it's typically from birth through FtA or from 5+ months for adoption, depending on time to get court orders, panels etc.

Tl;DR: Speak to your childs SW and discuss some possibilities. Get some options on file and get passed as an FC if you want to FtA anyway. If this isn't hypothetical, you may wish to PM me.

[LocoMoco]

I have heard of a situation where the foster to adopters where in the hospital waiting for the baby to be born.
They had to be approved as foster carers in advance and the bps had agreed to an immediate fta placement.

I think the adoption was finalised at court before the child was 1. The adoptive parents haven't got a bad word to say about the LA or their SW as you'd expect!

I've only ever heard of that one case that it's happened like that unless you go to America and pay for a private adoption of a relinquished child, which is a completely different kettle of fish.

[GoldieGirl]

We FFA a baby from 5 days old who is now 11 months and we have adopted. She was born to a BM who had previous babies removed so a FFA placement was sought on the very likely event that adoption would be the outcome. (Nothing had changed in her lifestyle since previous babies, who were fostered conventionally then adopted).

In our LA there have been 3 placements so far, so it's rare but not impossible. it is the usual route for FFA in our LA. We were linked before birth and collected her from hospital once a care order had been obtained in court at 5 day. We were trained and prepared for FFA before her birth.

We are of course delighted with how it has worked out or us, but it was a roller coaster ride for he first few months. SW will want to check you are prepared for the uncertainty and understand the risks.

[J0J0K]

I have a birth child who is 5 and an adopted child (7 months ago ) who is 2. The Birth mother is due to give birth again over the next few days and we have been contacted re Foster to Adopt. Mine and DH heads are spinning with the weight of this decision. We have met with our SW and have considered a huge long list of things but both can't seem to decide whats right for our family unit for the long term. SW is being supportive and is not pressuring us at all. Advice welcome 8)

[GoldieGirl]

Hi JoJoK:

I can't offer any insight from our experience as we haven't (yet!) been faced with this decision but it's one we are likely to face at some point in the future, and it is a hypothetical discussion my DH and I do have regularly.

Seven months isn't long to have been placed with your youngest child. I can imagine you are only just adjusting now to having two children and for your eldest having a sibling. Having a newborn baby added to this would be a lot to take on, especially as FFA requires facilitating contact, attending meetings and medicals etc. I assume you have the details of how much (if any) contact you would be required to facilitate and how likely or unlikely is it that the Birth parent would reform/change/win any appeals.

I can see what a difficult choice it is to make. One piece of advice I read about sibling adoption was whether you and your partner want another child in your family unit, rather than focusing on the fact that there would be a sibling for your adopted child. Are you in a position right now to add a newborn baby? Does the thought fill you with excitement and hope, or just trepidation? Some people are very adaptable and cope with big changes well, others don't. How do you both feel about how you as individuals and a couple would cope with another baby and the sleepless nights etc that they usually come with plus the dynamic with your second child.

Sorry if these are just the same questions you are both going over, but I hope something helps. It's good you have a very supportive SW. I hope you find peace with the decision you come to.

[luckylucky24]

I am looking at this from a practical point of view jojo- if you are still on leave from your second child can you financially afford to fund a third? Do you think your second will cope with such a huge change so soon? How would you cope being in regular contact of your sons mother but keep him away?

[J0J0K]

Thanks GoldieGirl and luckylucky! Decision now made. We have decided to stay with our precious two boys and enjoy what we have. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment 👍