AIBU to not want to have a medical to adopt my stepson?

[lateforeverything]

My LA have informed me that for me to adopt dss they will be following agency adoption guidelines even though it is a non-agency adoption.

They want their report to contain my (and dss') medical information (i.e. full medical examination for us both for a fee) as well as financial information.

The LA website and government guidance do not require this information but I've been told that the information online is wrong. When I asked when the rules changed I was told "Well this has always been our practice and we've not been questioned before."

Any advice or insight welcome...

[CrazyCatLaydee123]

Do you think that the medical will throw up issues for you, or is it just the cost? Seems silly, but at the end of the day if it needs to be done, it needs to be done.

[RosieandJim89]

Presumably you have been caring for him for quite some time so not sure what the point of the medical is at this stage but the way I look at this process as just "play the game". Do as they ask with minimal fuss and it will be a much quicker process.

[Kr1stina]

I know someone who was asked to do this when they had already been caring for the child for 7 years . I know it seems silly but you just have to do what they ask .

[lateforeverything]

Thanks both, for me it's the principle of it; government guidance clearly states that the expectations of the report are different for step-parent adoptions. I've not had major health issues.

It's just frustrating that I researched the process really thoroughly before contacting the LA and now have so much more to prove than I expected. I've been in dss' life since he was 2 and he moved in at the age of 7. He's now 12. I suppose I didn't expect the report to assess me as a stranger to dss.

The social worker is visiting our house next week so I'll see how that goes.

Thanks again.

[lateforeverything]

Ok thanks Kr1stina I cross-posted with you there!

[Kr1stina]

Do you know about the alternatives to adoption that might give you some of the legal rights you want and your DSS needs ?

[lateforeverything]

Oh yes I do, thanks for asking. I already have PR for him but we are so incredibly close and with dh's exw abroad and denying his existence I really want to formalise things.

We have discussed this as a family for about a year and it is the natural next step for us, fingers crossed.

[Kr1stina]

Ok I was just checking . Some people don't realise that there are other legal options that might be the right one in their circumstances .

Good luck and feel free to come back here for a moan