I am 44 and was adopted at ten days old. I have a sister, who's 50 and was adopted at six weeks. I've always thought I was part of a successful adoption story and that I was very well adjusted about it all. My adoptive dad was a lovely, lovely man (he died 5 years ago). My adoptive mum is a far more complicated person. She was a good mum, growing up. She mopped our tears brought us up as polite, well-mannered children.
BUT she's not a warm or emotional woman, has no real empathy with others and life generally revolves around her. I've always assumed that that was just who she is and that, if she'd had birth children, she'd have been the same.
Over the past few months, my sister has been fighting cancer. We now know that it's terminal and that we are probably looking at months rather than years. Everyone is heartbroken, and thinking of how to help etc. My mum SAYS how awful it is but beyond that, there's nothing. Various uncles have said they'll chip in for a last family holiday for my sister, BIL and niece and nephew. Mum acknowledges this as lovely and kind, but makes no mention of contributing herself, which she could easily afford to do.
All this has got me thinking, is it simply that she adopted us so just doesn't feel the same as if we were her BC? I read threads by other adoptive mums on here which make me think that's probably not the case! Or is she just a fairly cold, selfish person? Sorry, I've rambled on!
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19 replies
bsmirched · 24/04/2016 18:39
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