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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

I think my brother has messaged me on Facebook. I'm ner

(5 Posts)
Oswin Thu 10-Dec-15 22:27:18

Ive had a message of a man asking about my dad.
I know when my dad was 13 he got his girlfriend pregnant and he was adopted.
I've messaged back. I'm nervous and scared and feeling sad.
He hasn't said who he was just confirming if I knew the man he was looking for.

I don't know the point of this thread I just needed to let it out.

Oswin Thu 10-Dec-15 22:37:40

He just asked do I know who he is. I said said yes are you my dads son. Ahhhgghh.

Italiangreyhound Fri 11-Dec-15 01:08:56

Oswin please, please, please get some professional help and advice about this. This may or may not be your brother. Please do not put yourself in any vulnerable position like meeting someone you do not know on the basis you think they are your long lost brother.

Please get some help to navigate this safely.

www.afteradoption.org.uk/our-services/searching-people-and-information

please, please do not feed the person any lines. EG 'I said said yes are you my dads son.' If they really are related to you they will not need you to tell them how they are related to you.

Please just be careful. It may all be fine but you sound quite eager for them to be your brother while also saying you feel sad. Is your father still alive? Is your mum alive? Are there other family members you can talk to this about. Please do not do any of this alone.

Oswin Fri 11-Dec-15 01:22:28

Thank you for replying it's a minefield, I feel sad I think because he messaged me ages ago and it went into the fb other file, my dads alive yes.
I'm staying at there house tonight, he was asleep when I found the message I've been able to talk to my mom though.
We don't know what to say to dad in the morning. He never had a choice he was a child, it's always haunted him.
We have always talked about him, we tried looking once but didn't know where to look.
He sent a picture of some forms, it's likely him because my dad has a distinct name. I think I'm in shock maybe.
I will look at your links and seek advice on how to proceed but I'm hopeful.
I'm worried about my dad, and this man if he really is my brother how will he feel when he gets over the shock.
I know from lurking on this board for years that these reunions aren't like the telly.

Italiangreyhound Fri 11-Dec-15 01:26:56

I think this is why (because *I know from lurking on this board for years that these reunions aren't like the telly*) that professional advice is needed, what to do, what to avoid.

There is no blame for your dad or this man, it could be a very good thing for both of them, but you just need caution. Plus please do explain to him why it took so long to reply.

All the best.

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