I have a friend who has a 8yo she adopted when he was 10mo. He was in care from birth.
She's lovely and loves her DS very much, would go to the ends of the earth for him etc.
He does well at school and seems entirely "normal" to me, perhaps a little bit shy and not as boisterous as some children his age, but they're all different and he's not exceptionally quiet IMO.
However, she always defers to him. He gets to choose everything. For example, we've agreed to spend a day together with our Dc next week and I've suggested an outing I thought all the boys might enjoy. Her response "sounds good, I'll ask DS"
Now, in this house, if it was something I thought was Ok and my friend wanted to go too, the Dc would be told that on Tuesday we're doing XYZ, so this seems unnecessary to me. Friend says that because of his early life it's important for her Ds to have control over his life and that she needs to do this, which does make sense. I also know that some families adopt more than one DC and I don't know how you could make this work if you had to give more than one child such control.
I'm honestly not judging/criticising, but trying to understand. Is this a necessary part of raising an adopted child?
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Anyone willing to help me understand?
11 replies
FurtherSupport · 01/08/2015 20:11
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