Being told a child you work with is adopted

[anxious123]

But different from my usual birth mum posts.

Today at work - horse riding stuff - one of the parents told me that her little girl was hers by adoption (her words) tbh I was a bit taken a back. I just replied with "no problem at all, she's just like all the other horse mad kiddies up here so don't worry but if shes got areas she might struggle with please let us know and we will try and help". She cried on me! Happy tears. She said "she's just like all the other horse mad kiddies... That's the best thing I've ever heard". I was really touched. Don't know what else I would of said in honesty. They've all got different challenges as a rule so I tend to take the attitude "everyone is an individual" with each of them... Just wondered if I handled it ok?

[Daisiemoo]

On my Anxious, think you've done brilliantly there! And held yourself together, it must have been really tough for you. You need a hug, and .

[anxious123]

I deal with all sorts of things at work... I think a lot of people with SEN find animals therapeutic as do a lot of people who've experienced trauma so it'd take a lot to shock me as a rule.

And just to reassure you guys, I won't be mentioning it to the little girl. It's her story to tell as and when and if she wants to tell it. As far as I'm concerned she is a horse mad kid doing what horse mad kids do - horse around and get covered in mud occasionally.

[CloserToFiftyThanTwenty]

That's lovely all round - and agree with Daisy, that must have been tough for you and

[Italiangreyhound]

anxious must have been hard for you but you handled it well.

A few people know my son is adopted and often say he fits well in our family and stuff. It is nice to hear. When someone shares they do want to know the other person has heard. So your answer was spot on.

[Kewcumber]

I think also think you handled it well anxious I suspect there are other issues or the mum wouldn't have mentioned it so you total acceptance and calm was probably very touching to her.

Hope you don't find it too hard - I think I might. Mind you I suppose when the child is a real one sitting in front of you, you just get on with what you need to do. Don't be surprised if its a bit triggering though and you need to talk to someone about how it makes you feel.

DO you have someone you trust that you can talk to in RL?

[Kewcumber]

Going off topic slightly I saw a lovely video blog from an old mumsnetter (she may still post though I haven't noticed her much) about how much her son who has autism has benefitted from horseriding.

[anxious123]

I've been around more than one adopted child since my son was born so it's not something totally new to me, nor are looked after children so I had in a way mentally prepared myself for it. So glad to know it seems as though I reacted appropriately, would never want to make the mum in question feel bad as she is a lovely mother and a lovely person.

Kew - there's a fair few kiddies at the stables on the spectrum and they do seem to fair brilliantly with animals in general but horses in particular seem to have a very calming effect - I've often questioned if it isn't something to do with their paces. Walk has 4 beats, trot has 2, canter 3 and gallop 4 so probably a pattern of sorts. That and the fact that animals don't over complicate things with emotions and questions.