Hi MooseyMouse great news.
yes and Yes to Sodasyphon and dibly. Great points.
I really think anticipating future needs, be it identity related or possible areas that will be an 'issue' and making sure help can be supplied or at least the needs recorded early on is something that those involved in adoption should be doing or pushing to enable it to be done.
If adoption panels could have this input, right at the start of an adoption, that would be helpful. This is for matching panel.
For approval panel and matching panel I think it is very important for prospective adopters to understand what exactly they are 'signing up' for. I have met people, going through the process, who did not really seem to understand. Of course as a prospective adopter you want to hold on to the idea that 'if the social worker sends you to panel they must have faith you will get through' but if the panel is not a genuine checking device then it loses its power!
I have not heard of many people who were told they needed to make a change before being approved at panel.
People might have been scared about issues, with weight for example, or possible attitude to the process and yet they still get through. Better for panels to say 'yes, but there is this issue you need to deal with before approval' 'or before going forward', 'or yes, to matching but this is something you need to be aware of.' And get it in writing!
i was lucky I got through everything and like most prospective adopters I was so bloody pleased to get through but there can be a feeling, well you will all get through!
I am lucky that I am pretty tenacious and if they had said go away and do this, that or the other I hope - I would have done it!
But if I had not been willing to do stuff, that would show up my lack of enthusiasm!
I do know people who were told to do something and did not and never adopted (I do not think they even got to panel). At the time I felt sad about that and what a shame but later, when dealing with the really heavier issues of adoption or rather reading about them from others here, I realised, actually, you need to be tenacious and strong willed and willing to do what it takes. So better for those people who were not able or willing to move forward to stay where they were. They wanted it, but they could not do what was needed.
Sorry this is getting very long! I thought at first I had nothing to add! I guess the longer I am involved in the world of adoption and looked after children the more I realise that it is hard work and you need to be aware of it, but it is so rewarding and these children/all children deserve our very best!
Give you dp a big hug for being willing to put themselves out on behalf of others, MooseyMouse.