Any mums with bi-polar who've adopted?

[fizzles]

Hello,

This is my first Mumsnet post; so am feeling brave and hopeful that you lovely ladies can help.

Me and my husband are hoping to adopt. I have bipolar - I manage it well, have not been an inpatient for 20 years and am very proactive in asking for help and looking after myself. So I hope there's a good chance my diagnosis won't prevent us being considered as adoptive parents.

Are there any mums on Mumsnet who also have bipolar and who have adopted?

I know the process is very intrusive and we'll be asked all sorts of questions. And that a good support network is vital. I'd love to hear from mums who also have bipolar about how they've managed the process.

Thanks v much :)

[NanaNina]

All prospective adopters have to have a medical examination with their GP. He/she then forwards the medical report to the Medical Advisor for the LA, and he/she decides whether there is anything in the medical report that would be a concern in relation to adoption. I honestly don't know how your mental illness would be perceived. I think the best thing to do is contact your LA and tell them about your illness and they can get the medicals underway and the Medical Advisor can comment on your suitability (or otherwise) to adopt.

Can I ask what age range you are thinking of because the need is mostly for older children, sibling groups and children with disabilities.

[disneygirl10]

Hi Fizzles,
Sorry no experience of this, but as nina said they will do a full medical.
Phone a few Local authorities though don't go by what one says or get put of by what one agency says. I got very different reactions from the different agencies I phoned.
Although lots of older children need adopting there are also lots of younger children too,now more than ever I think. We adopted ds when he was 20months and I have 2 friends who adopted children just over a year.
Hopefully someone who can give you some info will be along soon.
Good luck

[Lilka]

Hi and welcome

I'm sure I remember one parent from a forum years ago who had had MH difficulties when they were younger, and had been sectioned once, and then had been approved to adopt years later, after extensive checks, including extra medical checks involving old medical records and a consultant psychiatrists report etc.

I can't think of anyone I know who has Bipolar specifically, but I do know adopters who have had other mental health difficulties

When prospective adopters have a health condition of any kind, the adoption agency should always be looking at 'how your condition affects you personally, how it is managed, and whether and how it would affect your ability to look after a child. If it would affect you sometimes, do you have the resources, resilience and support to manage this. It should all be based on you personally.

You will have a medical check with your GP, who will send a report to the agency about your fitness to parent. However when prospective parents have health conditions, depending on the condition, they sometimes want a specialist report as well, or a closer look at your medical history at least. So if you've say, seen a psychiatrist or another professional about your condition in the last few years, you may find an agency would also want to hear from them as well as from your GP.

Basically, it shouldn't be an outright barrier, but you should expect very in depth questionning and health checks about your condition (which as I said, should be about how Bipolar affects you specifically, not about Bipolar in other people/generally). If you can show that you are proactive and seek help, this is always a big plus point, for any prospective parent!

I wish you the best of luck

[fizzles]

Thanks v much everyone, that's helpful. Heartening to hear about the mum who was approved who had been in hospital.

@nananina - we are expecting to adopt between the ages of 2 up to 7. The recent documentaries on adoption have really opened our eyes so we are trying to keep an open mind. We have the space to adopt two children, but have no idea if that's right for us in terms of the support we could offer.

I am braced for lots of questions about my mental health. It's good to hear how it works. I was discharged by my last psychiatrist years ago, and last saw someone when I was finding about the support (or not) I'd get if I got pregnant.

It's a long old story as to how we've ended up where we are - lots of aspects to it but I felt strongly that given the support we have, it would be really selfish to have a baby and get very ill, most likely. If (a big if, certainly) we could adopt, I feel I'd be a better mum.

You may be reading this thinking, well if you can't cope with a baby, good luck with an adoptive child! It's not that I think adoption is any way an easier route - we went to an info evening at Barnados a few years which made that crystal clear! It's just that getting pregnant and dealing with a newborn would put me at huge risk of relapsing, whereas at least I'd be able to continue taking my meds if we do adopt.

So we are braced for lots of questions and needing to get more experience of looking after children. Which so far, I think we're pretty good at...

Just looking forward to getting started with it all after a lot of thinking and reading about adoption.

[fledtoscotland]

We are at the very start of our adoption journey but DH has been treated for depression for many years inc one voluntary hospital admission. SW have said that mental health itself isn't a barrier but the medical officer will need to be satisfied that DH can cope and has the resilience to deal with the potential stress of not only another child but one who may have problems.

[fizzles]

@fledtoscotland that's good to know. And it makes sense, really. Be weird if they weren't cautious.