Hi there,
I'm looking for opinions and knowledge from people in the know about something my husband and I have been thinking about recently. I'm afraid I don't know any of the correct jargon and all information i have is currently just picked up from vague discussion - so may not be correct! Also I am not wanting to give out to much info just in case so I am not divulging gender and some other bits.
A friend of ours is a foster parent and has had a child in her care for a few years now, the child is 6 years old and has recently been given 'permanency' (which I understand means the child will now never be returned to the neglectful and abusive parents.) However they are still waiting for a decision to be made as to weather the child will be put up for adoption and have recently heard that it will now be more likely to be long term foster care because of the child's age. :( But I'm also told if someone were to ask to adopt her that might work.
Having spent some time with this wonderful child, we have not been able to stop thinking about bringing them into our family and giving them a better chance of a decent future in a loving family.
However before we even get started on thinking about this seriously we have a feeling it would be unlikely that they would allow us to adopt her for a few reasons. I am being very honest here, some of this may sound like we are not good people, but I promise you we are.
Reason one is that we live at completely the different end of the country (in fact technically in a different country within the UK) - this would be a huge change for the child.
Reason 2 is that my husband sought help from his GP 7 years ago in order to stop drinking, something he needed help with at a rocky time in his life (break down of his 1st marriage). He received counseling on the NHS and he now does not drink and hasn't done for 7 years. We realize this looks bad on a file! Sadly I would say as a result he is a much more responsible parent than many who will happily get drunk around their children.
Reason 3 is that we are both self employed and therefore our finacial situation is slightly less stable than others.
Then there are our kids, we have one 18 month old and 3 teenagers from his first marriage - only one of whome lives with us - the other 2 visit regularly, they are lovely and we have a lovely family bond.
My husband is 40, I also worry about that - would that be considered too old?
So what do you think, do you think we would get turned down straight away? And if not, what would be the process if we were to start considering this seriously?
Thanks in advance.
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Is there any chance we could adopt this child?
12 replies
bethanymum · 09/08/2011 20:23
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