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BULLIED, DISABLED - HELP.........

(5 Posts)
louisecharliewright Tue 04-Jan-11 11:20:50

HI, I AM 20YR OLD, LIVING WITH MY MUM AND 6 OTHER CHILDREN. MY MUMS HUSBAND HAS FULL CUSTODY OF HIS 12YR OLD DISABLED SON, WHO SUFFERS WITH AUTISTIC SPECTRUM DISORDER.
MY MUM HAS FOUND IT VERY DIFFICULT COPE WITH THIS. AS THE YRS GONE ON SHE'S BUILT UP HATRED FOR HIM AND DOES NOT TREAT HIM FAIRLY. ALL THE OTHER CHILDREN SEE MY MUM SHOUT, PUNISH AND BULLY HIM AND HAVE ALSO BUILT UP HATE.
I ALSO SUFFER MENTAL ILLNESS AND CAN UNDERSTAND THAT HIS BRAIN WORKS DIFFERENTLY.
I AM SOON TO BE MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO WORKS AND CARES FOR PEOPLE WITH SPECIAL NEEDS AND ALSO AGREES THIS CHILD IS NOT BEING TREATED AS HE SHOULD.
I FIND IT VERY HARD TO WATCH THIS GO ON AS ITS NOT REALLY MY PLACE TO SAY ANYTHING. (MOST OF THE TIME I FEEL LIKE TAKING HIM AWAY AND ME AND MY PARTNER WILL CARE FOR HIM!) ALSO IF I DARE PUT MY FEELINGS ACROSS TO THEM, I WOULD THEN BE IN THE SAME POSITION.

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS FOR MY MUM AND I WOULDN'T WANT THEM TO GET DIVORCED.

WOULD THIS EVER BE POSSIBLE WITH MY MENTAL ILLNESS? I CANT HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN SO THIS WAY EVERYONE'S HAPPY.

Lotster Tue 04-Jan-11 14:30:24

Hi there, sounds like a difficult situation sad I don't the answers to your questions, but am bumping in the hope someone else does.

walesblackbird Tue 04-Jan-11 15:08:48

Living with a child on the autistic spectrum can be very challenging indeed. One of my sons has some difficulties which can make life interesting (!) and a child with severe difficulties can place an enormous amount of strain on a family.

As you say, his brain is wired differently and normal parenting techniques simply aren't going to work with him. Are you, as a family, receiving any help and support? There's a website which may be able to help : www.autism.org.uk. You may be able to find someone or something local to you who could help.

Are Social Services involved? If not, and your mother is struggling, then maybe putting in a call and asking for help would be something you could do. SS do their best to keep families together and not rip them apart - but they may be able to offer you some help and support on the best way forward.

Italiangreyhound Wed 05-Jan-11 09:52:38

louisecharliewright it's very brave of you to want to help and you obviously feel very concerned for this poor boy (poor, I mean, because of the bullying he is receiving).

I think you really need to speak to someone in real life who can help and advise. Social services would be able to help and an autism charity would have the knowledge and skills to know what is best for the boy.

I really hope you will get some help with this situation from someone who knows how to help.

Please do come back and tell us how things are going.

Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage and once again, it is really good that you care about this boy and want to help. I feel sure if you speak to someone with knowledge and experience of this in real life they will be able to help.

GabbyLoggon Wed 05-Jan-11 15:11:13

Sorry, I cant offer other advice than has already been offered. But I wish you well.

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