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Academic common room

Overthinking studentship advert?!

17 replies

CommonFishDiseases · 05/02/2018 06:07

I feel nauseous and hot... I started my PhD, self funded, September 2017. It is a real struggle financially. This morning I have just seen a paid studentship advertised at my institution for a PhD student to work on a subject very closely related (the broader context of my specific topic). Lead contacts are (1) a person I have worked with (teaching on same module) and (2) one of my supervisors. If only I'd waited... I would have seen this advert... I could have started in Sept 2018 and got a PG loan as well. But it will be competitive. I am in overthinking overdrive and my stomach is in knots. I feel like I'm going to really resent the successful candidate.

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MountainsofMars · 05/02/2018 10:05

But you’ll apply then, won’t you?

frasier · 05/02/2018 10:13

Cut your losses, apply anyway. Nothing ventured and all that. You may get it, and if not, there will be a reason.

frasier · 05/02/2018 10:14

Sorry, posted too soon. I meant if you didn't get it there will be a legit reason and so you might not be as resentful of the person who does.

Apply!

CommonFishDiseases · 05/02/2018 11:15

Yes but I have a primary supervisor who is not involved. My secondary supervisor is the one who is involved in this studentship. My primary supervisor is great and I would be extremely reluctant to bail on her if was successul. Even if I wasn't successful wouldn't it show her I wasn't committed to my existing topic? Also if I failed to get an interview it will be embarassing... I work with these people currently

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CommonFishDiseases · 05/02/2018 11:23

Also, I don't expect hand holding but I am gutted they never even thought to mention it to me before the advert went out. I know that is unreasonable and insecure but I'm all over the place today.

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Primarkismyonlyoption · 05/02/2018 11:29

You need to apply. You will be impressive in that you are so determined to do a phd. They look for whoever will finish. At that level most candidates are equal. Some subject knowledge and research experience is favourable.
Can i ask why you chose to self fund? As in the hierarchy of phds research council funded ones are the most respected; ESRC or NIHR. Then, school scholarships. Self funded phds can be seen as a vanity project. What is your aim? What will you do with the knowledge other than gain a title? Think about these then look at the advantages of a studentship and write a fucking good application. They arent allowed to go internally first. They have to advertise. Talk to academics. You can get this.

CommonFishDiseases · 05/02/2018 12:54

Definitely not a vanity project Primark... I am self funding because I felt I couldn't wait for a suitable studentship to come along (on the advice of some of these people I've mentioned) and I desperately wanted to get started developing a specialism in a subject I love. I also wanted to start PT as have young DC. I have work experience and a strong academic record. I'd love to go into academia "properly" in the end.

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Primarkismyonlyoption · 05/02/2018 13:02

Common part time notoriously difficult for continuity and financially. Everyone i know who did pt took 7yrs. By that point your impact is reduced as the subject has moved on a lot.
Not criticising your reasons btw.
Go for the studentship. You are only the equivalent of 6mths in full time. You aren't letting your sup down-your course fees pay her wages! Get your fees paid and then the stipend. It is tax free so you keep child tax credits.

MountainsofMars · 05/02/2018 16:02

I don't expect hand holding but I am gutted they never even thought to mention it to me before the advert went out

There may be all sorts of reasons why the ad went out without them talking to you. If it's public money, we are obliged generally to advertise. It's highly unlikely to be meant personally. You might not be at the centre of their thoughts; academics are multi-taskers under high levels of stress, demand & expectation.

Ask them about the project. Tell them you might be interested, as it's aligned with what you've started to do, and there's funding. They'll understand how difficult self-funding is.

Have a go - you can't have a hope of getting that funding if you don't try for it.

And yes, it is hard when you see your peers getting things you don't get, but try to see your fellow PhD students as colleagues. There'll be times when you are eaten up with envy; there'll be othe times when you land a prize others seek. IT tends to even out, so try not to fixate on this.

You have to learn not to take these things personally. Hard to learn, but if you can find ways of dealing with this sort of stuff now, it really will hep you in your future career. If you stay in academia, there'll be a lot worse. And a lot better situations as well!

MountainsofMars · 05/02/2018 16:04

There'll be times when you are eaten up with envy; there'll be othe times when you land a prize others seek. IT tends to even out, so try not to fixate on this.

Should have said - I'm an old lag - I've been through all of this. It really isn't worth the emotional energy you're giving it. There will be some amazing highs for you as well, so prepare for those!

Primarkismyonlyoption · 05/02/2018 16:11

Please as well, if you want academia in the long run, use this as an experience to learn from. Academia is cut throat with egos competing at every level. You need to have the skin of a rhino to survive. This is nothing about you. Phds are shite for self esteem. It doesnt get much better but phds stick together to get each other through.

CommonFishDiseases · 05/02/2018 16:43

Thanks all. I guess I'm just kicking myself that I jumped the gun somewhat by applying for a PhD without funding and my family is sacrificing so much to fund it.

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GrasswillbeGreener · 05/02/2018 16:50

Definitely talk to them about it. Hope you can sort something out. (Speaking as one who also started self-funded, hoping to get funding along the way; and in the end the whole thing broke me. Funding might not have changed that but maybe it would have. I started when I did for lots of good reasons, similar to yours)

Primarkismyonlyoption · 05/02/2018 17:16

Funding bar the odd 500quid grant is rare as hens teeth for an already started project as funders question why funding couldnt be found for the whole project. Shit, but how it is.
Try for this it will be easier and better for the cv x

Primarkismyonlyoption · 05/02/2018 17:16

Grass did you complete?

CommonFishDiseases · 05/02/2018 21:26

Thank you all for coaching me through today. I've had a good chat this evening with DH about our finances including childcare costs, my paid work hours and gone over again the pros/cons of doing PT self funded PhD vs. FT funded PhD. Winding down brain now with cuppa and (DH-gifted) chocolate bar

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Primarkismyonlyoption · 05/02/2018 21:38

Look....sod the pros and cons. Apply, if you get it then do the pros and cons then?

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