10DD Is this a night terror/anxiety thing or something else

[Loveatthe5anddime]

Ten year old DD has has gone through periods of not sleeping for the last few years. When she was 6/7 it was so awful that the neighbours through the wall asked if everything was ok they could hear her screaming through the wall in the middle of the night that she didn’t want to go to bed...

As she’s got older it’s got better but I find the run up to Christmas quite triggering for her I think so much going on and excitement of everything.

Every couple of months we have a night like tonight where she has either been sleeping or on the brink of sleeping and she will come through and while definitely isn’t sleepwalking seems to be absolutely terrified and chittering and fixated on one thing which is seeing her pet (who lives outside) she also seems terrified of her bed and while she says she isn’t cold I have to hold her really close until the chittering subsides and then she falls back to sleep.

She can never remember these episodes in the morning.

I’m wondering if anyone has any advice or has a child that has gone though similar.

[Bellyups]

Not a child, so probably not much use, but I get similar, usually with an anxiety flare up.
It’s horrible, I feel for your DD

[Rustyigloo]

My DD10 has had them since she was a year old. I'm not a professional but sounds like night terrors to me.
Triggers for her include - needing a wee in the night, being overtired/overstimulated and when she starts to come down with an illness. A high temperature whether that is being ill or she's got too many covers on is the main trigger here.

It's horrifying to watch but I take comfort in knowing she can't remember them in the morning.
It does put her off having sleepovers though as she doesn't want this to happen at a friends house.

[Loveatthe5anddime]

@Rustyigloo thank you, thought this was what it was, she was late to bed due to watching a movie and when she 1st came through was fairly sweaty so sounds exactly the same.

It’s her fear of getting back into bed thats so stressful as feel rotten, you would think I was asking her to climb into a cage of snakes.

[Notimetolive]

I was like this as a child. Often got up in the night but no recollection in the morning.
I went through another bad spell of night terrors in my 20’s and currently having very (mad) vivid dreams. It all seems to be linked to stress levels.

[Rustyigloo]

It sounds as though she hasn't properly "left" the night terror if she doesn't want to get back into bed.
Like I said im not a professional but we always fully wake her.
I don't know whether it helps but we do things like take her to the toilet as that seems to bring her round quicker (cold floor and cold toilet seat-poor thing!). We also then hold up our fingers and get her to count them. If she's still not fully out of the terror then she'll quickly slip into another one after we've left her.
I spoke to a health visitor about it when she was really little and she was really great. She gave us lots of reassurance and explained that my dd was just moving through the stages of sleep too quickly and the brain wasn't processing this properly. It's nothing to do with emotional issues, abuse etc etc.

[Flipflopblowout]

We found with ours that it was happening at the same time every night so we used to go up and rouse her 10 - 15 minutes before it was due by quietly talking to her and turning her over. The problem stopped very quickly.

[Curlygirl06]

@Flipflopblowout

We found with ours that it was happening at the same time every night so we used to go up and rouse her 10 - 15 minutes before it was due by quietly talking to her and turning her over. The problem stopped very quickly.

I can second this. My grandson had his, so we told our dil to shake him awake about 15 minutes before the usual time they occurred, not enough to properly wake him, just enough for him to open his eyes, turn over, not to actually talk to him etc, check he wasn't too hot etc and it sorted it out very quickly.

[ZZTopGuitarSolo]

Every couple of months we have a night like tonight where she has either been sleeping or on the brink of sleeping and she will come through and while definitely isn’t sleepwalking seems to be absolutely terrified and chittering and fixated on one thing which is seeing her pet (who lives outside) she also seems terrified of her bed and while she says she isn’t cold I have to hold her really close until the chittering subsides and then she falls back to sleep.

One of mine would fixate on something terrifying, and would repeatedly dream about it all night, and keep on waking up absolutely terrified. It was worse if he needed to pee, so we would take him to the bathroom which sometimes helped.

But other than that I never found a solution other than to put him in bed next to me, and cuddle him and reassure him that he was safe each time he woke up. He eventually grew out of it in his early teens.

[Loveatthe5anddime]

Thanks everyone, interesting this morning was the 1st time she has remembered being awake and upset, though she can’t remember the chittering or wanting to go see pet...

It did give us some grounds to chat and she said that she had been sleeping but all she can remember is waking up and feeling really stressed that she couldn’t get back to sleep, I’m glad that’s all she can remember as the whole thing played out a lot more traumatising for her and for me.

It also meant she got quite upset a bedtime tonight but I’ve told her no pressure to sleep and me or DH can always come and lie beside her or she can always come back through to us for a cuddle.

[DobbleDobble]

My ds used to get this many moons ago and I watched and read a few things on it.one of the big contributors is being too hot in their night clothes/bedding and bedroom.
We made sure he was in not too heavy pjs, kept a window open for air flow and bedding weight not too heavy.It did actually work!

[Silkieschickens]

My DS went through a few years of this, night terrors linked to stress re school. He is also autistic so finds change and school difficult.

[ZZTopGuitarSolo]

It also meant she got quite upset a bedtime tonight but I’ve told her no pressure to sleep and me or DH can always come and lie beside her or she can always come back through to us for a cuddle.

This was what mostly ended up being our approach. It's so tiring and upsetting for everyone. My son was actually really scared of being upstairs alone for about a year and I think it was all related.

[ZZTopGuitarSolo]

I hasten to add he is now a very happy confident 16 year old who sleeps like a log.