Anyone else's baby not like spending time with their dad?

[HottestSpotNorthOfHavana]

DS is 6 months old. He's amazing and smiley and squeezable and I'm not biased. Not at all. He's breastfed, so as well as a food source, I'm often used as his human dummy.

DS loves everyone as long as he's on my lap. He briefly tolerates time with others as long as they move mountains to entertain him.

The thing is, DH is really inexperienced with babies and is quite reserved as a person. He also isn't the best at reading social cues and can't seem to pick up when DS is beginning to get fussy.

DH really is trying and does the vast majority of the housework and is earning extra household money so I can take another few months of maternity leave. He's funny and kind and caring and I adore him.

But I feel like he's feeling that DS doesn't want to be with him and it's not helping his already low baby care confidence and I'm worried their relationship will suffer.

Maybe I'm being over-anxious (PFB plus IVF). Has anyone been in this position? Was there anything that helped? All thoughts appreciated!

[HottestSpotNorthOfHavana]

@Ionlydomassiveones he does. My health hasn't been good and he's had DS for all my medical appointments and he spends time with him when I shower and we try a few hours every day when DH is off work.

DS never seems to get more comfortable with DH.

[WTF475878237NC]

My local children's centre is just re-starting classes for parents under two to learn about baby and toddler development, parenting, play etc. Maybe your husband would find this useful?

[WTF475878237NC]

*Parents of infants under two

[HottestSpotNorthOfHavana]

@WTF475878237NC thanks, that's a good idea. We're not in the UK, but I'm sure we have something similar around. I'd even go along myself, and I'm sure I'd learn plenty, too.

I've talked about our situation to some of my mum friends but their babies were more easy going about it.

Our son is really relaxed and a great sleeper - as long as he's on or right next to me!

[WTF475878237NC]

Yes I'm going to go myself!

[FolkyFoxFace]

Normal! I've just had to run upstairs and take DS off DH because it was becoming hysterical. He loves him in short bursts.

DH also doesn't understand winding down cues. Last night at midnight he showed him a new toy because he seemed lively. I'd just fed him and he did a wee. He didn't need a flashing elephant, he needed more boob/rocking/wind down time.

[samwitwicky]

My DS wasn't interested in his dad at that age. In fact it wasn't until after he turned 3 that he really paid any interest towards him, I guess because he was gone most of the day (working) and I was at home providing all he needed

It will get better x

[HottestSpotNorthOfHavana]

@FolkyFoxFace thank you so much for this! It's particularly reassuring to hear that my husband isn't the only one missing cues.

It's only really playing on my mind now as I need surgery and I'm worried that DS and DH will both be more scarred for life than I am.

[HottestSpotNorthOfHavana]

Thanks @samwitwicky

[FolkyFoxFace]

[quote HottestSpotNorthOfHavana]@FolkyFoxFace thank you so much for this! It's particularly reassuring to hear that my husband isn't the only one missing cues.

It's only really playing on my mind now as I need surgery and I'm worried that DS and DH will both be more scarred for life than I am.[/quote]
They'll be fine! They'll discover their own language. It's all normal so don't fret.

When he's not showing our 6 month old flashing toys, he has learned an amazing trick to calm teething enough to make him boob peacefully. If I'm struggling with DS, DH takes him, stands up, and meows Xmas songs to him with his mouth on the side of his head, body across his. When I try DS just wails!

Tell him to keep trying! It doesn't work every time, but in moments of madness/inspiration he'll get there... sometimes!