Relationship

[Qwerty2021]

Im sorry to jump on your thread but im new to mumsnet and dont really know how this all works. My partner left me on 1st December ( said he was struggling with things) then came back. But left again on Thursday. I feel like utter shit I am struggling to cope. No explanation just im going to my mums, I said to him you can't just leave again but he didn't respond. I got his step dad to collect some of his bits yesterday and day before and then I got a message saying, if I'd known you were gonna pack my things you could of at least said and I would of come and got them myself.
Its made me feel like its my fault now...I said to his step dad does he know your here, and he said not right now, but he knows you spoke to me about coming. I said has he mentioned what his gonna do, to which he said he had made a passing comment about getting his own place. Its thrown me because now its like I've just chucked him out. I love him with every part of me, but I know feel down I cannot have him back. He left me before too, and ive always been anxious since then wondering whether his gonna come home or not, I begged him not to leave ( not my finest hour ) and he said he wouldn't. I even said to him the day he left again...you are coming home...he said yes but then didn't. When he came back I tried so hard to make him stay, didn't make too much of a deal that he'd left previously, lovely pjs every night, tried not to mention anything for fear of him leaving, and he still went.
Im absolutely heartbroken to the point I have no idea how im going to keep going

[MissSparkle47]

Please can I have some advice, this is my first post...
I have been with my partner nearly 8 years. I sold my house and moved to his at the end of last year. We have brought some land and we are going to be building our own house and we needed the money to start things off.
Since I moved up it seems I cannot do anything right, I load the dishwasher wrong, don't make the bed right. Don't clean the sides down properly, don't make the bed properly. I walk on broken eggshells a lot. On Sunday i cooked a massive roast done alll the tidying up and because i didn't put the little silver plug (that collects the food) back in the sink hole properly he went mad. Calls me thick and says if i just do it how he wants it done he would have no reason to have a go at me.My 9 year old little dogs moved up with me because they wake up early and was quite unsettled he suggested we 'make a decision on them' for our quality of life. The have gone to my ex husbands now where my daughter is residing.
So I only had one child still living at home she is 17 she moved to her fathers when I moved to his as it is closer to college. She is going to University in September. They had a falling out last year which wasn't really anything to do with him but he has made it about him and hasn't seen her for 7 months. If i'd known she would never be able to stay I would have never moved up. His daughter lives with him every other week she is and as much as I love her i cannot help feel resentment that mine isn't allowed in the house. I know my friends a rethinking I am choosing him over my daughter and when i try to talk to him about any of this he shuts me down. my only saving grace at the minute is i work full time so can get out of the house. He has also criticised me for still wanting to see my children during Covid saying i should socially distance with them for a walk (when it is freezing and pouring down) but it is fine for his daughter to go between houses. He goes on to me for hours and hours and i am feeling mentally exhausted oh and quite homeless as he is quite regularly telling me to leave x