Mental/physical abuse?

(8 Posts)
MouldyMare Sun 20-Dec-20 13:49:53

Hi all, not sure if this is in the right place! Don’t have much time so I will get straight to it. Ive been with my partner almost 6 years. He started been controlling around a year in to the relationship (I was pregnant so I put it down to me over thinking cause of hormones) but the past year he has got worse. Would you class this as mental abuse? I will write a quick list of some of the things that happen.xx

If we argue he calls me a slag, slut, fat ugly bitch, fat cunt etc, he throws things, kicks things, shouts/screams, gets in my face, checks my phone (we sleep in separate rooms because he says I snore too much so I have to sleep on the floor in another room so he can’t hear me) but I’m not allowed my phone in the room with me in case I start texting people (because I’m a cheating slut), he sometimes comes to check in the night and make sure I’m not using my IPad in there. There is a lot more but that’s the general gist... then this year things seem to of got worse. It was summer and he was in the kitchen (in a good mood) then I went behind him and pretended to pull his shorts down (in a sexy way) and he turned around and threw a spoon at me, he threw it so hard it bruised my collar bone then my wrist when i tried to put my arm up, he told me to get over it I shouldn’t of made him jump. I let it slide. Then not too long ago i put a funny picture on his Facebook (I’m not allowed social media) the pic wasn’t even of him just something funny - I was sat on the bedroom floor when he saw it and he threw his game controller at me, grabbed my hair and threatened to put my head through the wall and got in my face. I was really shaken and went to bed. Then the most recent time I spent some money to pay a bill and was going to put it back in a few days (I didn’t tell him cause I knew the reaction I’d get, the money was for Xmas and I spent £40) anyway unfortunately he wanted to check my bank to make sure I hadn’t spent any of it so when he saw he flew off on one he pushed me quite hard (I got mad and pushed him back) then he threw my bank card at my face so I picked it up to put in my back and he grabbed my bag and slammed it out of my hands (he broke my bag I was quite upset cause it was a gift) then said I’m making him in to a nasty person and it’s my fault he’s like he is cause of all the stress i put him through.

I cook, clean, pay most of the bills while he sits and watches TV. Also studying full time which he puts me down about and says I’ll never be anyone and I’ll only fail so there is no point even trying cause I’m dumb.

Sorry that was so long! Is this mental abuse maybe turning physical?

OP’s posts: |
Icloud54 Sun 20-Dec-20 13:53:39

Omg this is definitely physical and emotional abuse!
Do you have any children together? Who owns the house?
I think you should can women's aid because you need to leave him and they will help you.

Icloud54 Sun 20-Dec-20 13:53:52


isseys4xmastinselcats Sun 20-Dec-20 13:56:05

get on the phone to womens aid and get out of there this is no life he is a bully and abusive in the extreme , whos house is it yours owned, his owned or between you or rented , get together all important paperwork passports etc and make plans to start having a proper life after christmas you deserve a better life than this big hugs

lazylinguist Sun 20-Dec-20 13:59:08

This is horrific, OP. There is not one bit of what you've described that isn't seriously abusive even on its own. Please call Women's Aid and make plans to leave.

starfish88 Sun 20-Dec-20 14:22:43

And just to add that if you leave now do not worry about tiers or any of that. Leaving domestic abuse (which this is) comes first.

ExitThisWay Sun 20-Dec-20 14:31:41

Yes. This is abusive behaviour. I’m guessing you have a child or children as you refer to a pregnancy. This is not a safe environment for you or any children you have. Please keep yourself and and any children safe. There is support to help you. If you are unable to get hold of women’s aid, you could arrange an emergency GP appointment on Monday morning. They will be able to help / refer you to support in your local area. I understand this may feel overwhelming, and a big thing. It is. Please reach out so someone. Your doctor, child’s school ( in term time) or even the police. People will be able to help you and provide the specialist help you and your children need right now. Specialist help is available because abuse means people are not able to fully see the situation they are in, or make judgments about how bad / dangerous it is. Please look after yourself and stay safe.


BritInAus Mon 21-Dec-20 04:51:25

This is horrific. Please seek help to leave x

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