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Co-parenting

4 replies

RTF91 · 20/10/2020 18:24

Hi everyone. I'm looking for some advice on co-parenting.
My childs father has been in and out of his life sporadically over the course of his life. His father has only recently started seeing him again after over a year of no visits. His father has also started a new relationship and his girlfriend is pregnant. He had his first visit with our son on Saturday and is already talking with our son about going to stay with him and his new girlfriend.
His girlfriend is a former friend of mine and we have talked in the past about her having been physically violent and abusive in past relationships.
I am not comfortable at all with the idea of our son being in a potentially volatile situation. Is not allowing my son to stay with his father and girlfriend something that I can reasonably do? Is there anything I should do from a legal standpoint to stop this from happening? Thank you.

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Mintjulia · 20/10/2020 18:29

You can not prevent your son's father introducing his son to anyone he wishes unless you reasonably believe it would place your son at risk.

If you withhold access without good reason, your ex could go to court and get an order to allow it, or you might deny your son the chance of a relationship with his dad.

So you would need to be very sure and able to demonstrate why to the court.

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RTF91 · 20/10/2020 18:53

Thank you.
I'm unsure that she would do anything to physically harm my son but being in a situation where he would be witness to domestic abuse and violence would harm his mental wellbeing/ health.
I would never as I have never denied my son a relationship with his dad. I would never say he can't see him, just not in a situation that is potentially harmful to our son.

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Mintjulia · 20/10/2020 19:58

I have roughly the same problem and have spent the last nine years trying to find a balanced and reasonable approach that allows my DS a normal happy life. It's very difficult.

I suggest, start small, get used to shared access\care gradually, keep a close eye on your dc, listen to him and hopefully things will go ok. You don't say how old your dc is but if still in nappies I'd delay overnight stays as long as possible.

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RTF91 · 29/10/2020 15:34

Well it might not matter much soon anyway. My ex's new partner is stopping him from seeing our son this weekend because we're in a local lockdown and she doesn't want to be alone. 😔