Too nervous/ashamed to go to the GP about anxiety

[ocdmaybe]

I have quite bad anxiety, maybe OCD and I have been trying to tackle it on my own by reading self-help books - the books that the NHS recommends (usually CBT-based) not just random wishy washy self-help.

My anxiety is mainly health anxiety and contamination fears. I managed to make a lot of progress in making myself stop some of the hand washing and I felt like I was making a lot of progress. However this morning I had a really bad "flare up" (not sure how to describe it) of anxiety and I ended up having to cancel my plans because of it.

Everytime I think about going to the GP I just start crying, I physically cannot get the words out. I am a really private person and haven't told anyone about my anxiety, not even my parents or best friends. I feel a lot of embarrassment and shame. I don't like being the centre of attention so the idea of sitting with a GP or doing talking therapy where the focus is on me and my behaviour and thoughts just seems unbearable. I could maybe cope with going to the GP if I could just get medication but I live with my parents and they would find out. I think because this has built up so much that having to talk about it is just too overwhelming, it's not like I can say "oh I have just been a bit anxious lately, that's all", it is much more than that.

I know mental health is nothing to be ashamed about. My sister and my best friend have anxiety so they would understand as would my parents. I have no idea why I feel like this.

Sorry I don't even have a specific question, just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

[MushyMushi]

Would you be able to talk to a doctor through a video app? Our surgery offers this now. There’s also a paid for app called the GP service.

It’s worth the money for me not to have the anxiety associated with going to the surgery.

[ritzbiscuits]

I have a recent history of anxiety and tried to manage it myself for a couple of years. It got that bad that it also manifested as chronic back pain issue. I've now not had a pain free day in 2 1/2 years and it can be seriously debilitating. I do have a range of pain management techniques now, but there is no magic pill to take the pain away.

In hindsight, I wished I'd gone to the GP sooner to ask for help for my anxiety. In the past six months I have completed an anxiety based CBT course (remote over the telephone), which was fantastic. I'm also on a new anti anxiety drug at the moment which continues to help. For the first time I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel.

So in short, I would really encourage you to reach out to a GP, before your health situation gets worse. If you are struggling to speak about it, I would write down a summary of your thoughts for the GP to read. I'm sure if you explain how difficult it is to talk about, they will be understanding and help as best as they can.

[saussaggessandmasshh]

Is your surgery offering online consultations? My surgery has the option to send a form online outlining the reason for your request for an appointment then they phone to discuss it and only offer face to face of it's absolutely necessary.
Failing that perhaps you could email them and explain that your anxiety is making it very difficult to speak about your problems and you would appreciate call with advice.

[saussaggessandmasshh]

Also -

I have anxiety and have recently opened up to my GP about it.

I am taking anxiety medication and am starting to see a difference in how I feel.

It's really worth talking it through.

💐

[saussaggessandmasshh]

There's also no need for your parents to know if you have medication it can be hidden somewhere safe surely?

[CatBatCat]

You can self refer and not have to the GP at all.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/free-therapy-or-counselling/

[Wolfiefan]

Can you write down what you want to say to the GP?

[ocdmaybe]

My GP is doing telephone consultations at the moment due to COVID so I would probably have one of those. I don't understand why I am being so private/ashamed about all of this.